Switched
by Kathy Rose
Summary: Two of the senior officers switch bodies. How will it affect them, and how will it affect their relationships with the other officers? Some shippage, but not what you think.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Switched

Author: Kathy Rose

Rating: T

Category: Drama/humor

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to someone else, etc., etc., etc. I'm not making any money, I'm just having fun with the characters. Wish I'd thought of them first.

Summary: Two of the senior officers switch bodies. How will it affect them, and how will it affect their relationships with the other officers? There is some shippage, but not what you're thinking.

CHAPTER 1

Hoshi woke disoriented in the darkness. The mission down to the planet must have taken more out of her than she realized. Her head felt heavy as she swung her legs over the edge of her bunk, only to cry out in pain as her toes rammed against the bulkhead.

"What the--?"

Her voice sounded strange to her ears. She shook her head, trying to clear it. OK, she must have been downright exhausted to have climbed into bed with her head at the opposite end from usual. No wonder she'd tried to get out of bed on the wrong side.

She'd been so worn out that she'd come to her cabin as soon as she had been released from decon. Malcolm had given her a quick peck on the cheek as they left sickbay together, saying there was something in the armory he wanted to check before he retired for the night and that he'd see her in the morning. Poor baby! He was tired too, but he wouldn't admit it because of his male ego.

Damn if it didn't feel as if her toes were swelling, she thought as she rubbed the aching digits. They felt bigger than usual. She must have cracked them good.

What had woken her in the first place? Oh, yeah. She had to use the bathroom.

Still groggy despite her smarting toes, she unsteadily got to her feet. Maybe she ought to go see Doctor Phlox. Her balance was off. Not only that, her perception seemed to be out of whack. The pieces of furniture she could see in the almost pitch-black room seemed smaller, or at least closer to the floor, and they weren't in the right places.

Maybe decon hadn't gotten rid of something she'd picked up on the planet. Or maybe, she thought as she staggered toward the bathroom, rearranging her cabin was Travis' idea of a joke. If so, she was going to kill him. She could have hurt herself running into her desk or tripping over her chair.

She fumbled for the switch for the bathroom light. She finally found it lower than where it was supposed to be. Actually moving the switch panel seemed a little too much effort for even Travis to go to for a practical joke, she thought as she flipped the switch.

Starting toward the toilet, she stopped in mid-stride. Her shower wasn't to the left of the commode like this one. She never left the seat up on the toilet, either. And she hadn't left a towel lying on the deck. She was very neat.

Oh-oh. Had she been so tired that she had accidentally gotten into someone else's quarters? Was that even possible?

Turning her head to glance around, the mirror's reflection of her movement caught her attention and she jumped as she gazed at the image staring back at her. Her hands flew to her mouth in shock, and the reflection copied her movement exactly.

Even her hands over her mouth didn't muffle her scream.

* * *

Jon tossed and turned, trying to go back to sleep. He was so tired. The only thing he wanted to do was sleep until his alarm woke him in the morning. He must be getting old. He was feeling every single year of his age after a routine survey mission on what had turned out to be a deserted planet. 

Licking his dry lips and trying to swallow, he knew he wasn't going back to sleep until he got a drink of water. No sense in postponing it. The sooner he got up and got some water, the sooner he could go back to sleep.

He pushed himself up to a sitting position and blinked, trying to clear his vision. He rubbed his eyes as he started to stand but hurriedly put his arms out to steady himself. Damn, he felt weird! He wasn't lightheaded. It was more like his center of gravity had shifted. Was something wrong with the grav plating?

He'd get that drink of water and if that didn't help, he'd comm Phlox. He'd gone through decon after getting back from the planet, but maybe he was coming down with something else.

He carefully made his way to the bathroom, which seemed farther away than usual. Not bothering to turn on the light, he padded to the sink and felt along the edge for the cup he kept there but couldn't find it.

Had Porthos gotten in here and knocked it off the sink? Anything on the deck was fair game, but the beagle was usually pretty good about leaving things alone that were on tables or countertops. Maybe Porthos had gotten bored while he was away today.

No, that wasn't it. The sink was a little higher than Porthos could jump. He must have just misplaced it. Feeling to one side along the countertop in search of the elusive cup, Jon leaned against the sink and suddenly froze.

The countertop should be pushing against his leg about midway up his thigh. The pressure he felt, however, was at hip level. What the hell was going on?

Turning to reach behind him, he flipped the light switch and froze again at the sight of his hand as the light came on. The fingers were delicate and small, the nails adorned with a clear polish. Looking down at himself, his breath seized in his chest as he saw two fleshy mounds pushing against the front of a blue Starfleet undershirt.

He whirled to face the mirror over the sink to find the image of Hoshi Sato staring back at him in wide-eyed horror.

* * *

Hoshi had her second shock on the way to sickbay. 

She probably should have commed the doctor to come to her but she had to get out of the captain's cabin. She might look like the captain right now but she wasn't him.

And how did she get in his cabin to begin with?

What the hell was going on? Was she going crazy or was she dreaming? Of one thing she was certain -- she needed help.

It was strange walking the corridors of Enterprise. Thank God it was late and there weren't any crewmembers around. She didn't know what she'd do if she ran into somebody.

Walking felt clumsy. Her stride was longer than she was used to and she had to concentrate not to take what must look like short, mincing steps in her usual gait. Then, stepping into the turbolift, she had to duck to avoid hitting her head...the captain's head...whatever.

She reached over to punch the control panel in the turbolift and missed by several centimeters. Damn it! Everything was lower than she was used to!

She exited the turbolift and strode quickly toward sickbay, trying to get used to the feeling of being in an unfamiliar body with longer legs. She was starting to get the hang of it when she turned the corner and came face to face with herself.

Even with the shock of seeing herself, Hoshi had to be honest. She wasn't face to face -- she was looking down. She was used to looking up at people. This was a totally different experience.

She saw the other's mouth move and heard her own voice say, "Hoshi?"

"Captain?" she guessed in turn, and flinched at the deep tenor of the voice that came from her throat.

The other nodded, stepped forward and grabbed her arm, and turned toward the sickbay doors. Still in shock, Hoshi stood her ground as the captain -- in her body! -- tried to tug her toward sickbay.

"Come on, Hoshi!" he hissed.

Hoshi nodded and allowed herself to be pulled into sickbay.

The lights were dim and Phlox's creatures were quiet as they entered. Knowing the doctor's habits, however, Hoshi wasn't surprised to see him seated at a console despite the late hour.

"Captain! Ensign!" the doctor called out as he rose to meet them. "What brings you to sickbay at this time of night?"

Hoshi traded a glance with herself -- _the captain, not myself! _she thought. _If I'm not crazy already, this situation is enough to make me insane._

Hoshi wondered if Phlox, with his keen interest in human nature, was picking up on the subtle nuances. Seeing Jon in her body, she'd detected an aura of confidence that she usually lacked. It was apparent in his posture, the shoulders thrown back, the chin tilted up.

On the other hand, she could feel the body she was in slouching in a defensive, withdrawn posture, and she was wringing her hands. She'd never seen the captain do that.

From next to her she heard her voice say, "We have a problem."

Once again the mismatched pair traded glances.

Looking at her with a smile, Phlox suggested, "Perhaps you could tell me, Captain."

Before she could stop herself, Hoshi blurted out, "I'm not the captain. She is. I mean, he is. Oh hell! I don't know what I mean."

Phlox usual smile slowly faded into a frown and he looked back at Jon in Hoshi's body. "The captain seems to be having some sort of delusion."

"No, he's not!" Jon said. "I'm the captain, despite the fact that I look like Hoshi."

"A mass hallucination, perhaps, or a joint delusion?" Phlox murmured thoughtfully.

"No!" Hoshi shouted, startling herself at the volume of the male voice issuing from her throat. Making a conscious effort to calm herself, she said in a more normal tone, "Something's happened to us. We've...switched bodies, I think."

Phlox stared at them as Hoshi silently willed him to believe them.

"Ah-hah!" the doctor said suddenly with an enormous grin, making both of them jump. "This is one of Mr. Mayweather's practical jokes. Really, Captain. I thought you were above taking part in--"

"Doctor!" Jon screamed, and Hoshi could see his surprise at the feminine shriek he'd generated. He gulped and forged on. "This isn't a joke! Something's happened to us. Whatever it is that makes me me has been transferred to Hoshi, and vice versa."

Jon paused to run a hand over his face, stopping momentarily to gaze in shock at the hand in front of his face.

"Please," he said as he lowered the hand. "Check us out. Do some sort of examination. We aren't lying and we aren't trying to play some sort of sick game."

To Hoshi's relief, Phlox slowly nodded in agreement, but as he turned away, she heard him mutter something about humoring patients before being able to begin treatment.

As the doctor began readying instruments, Hoshi remembered why she had woken up in the first place and hoped he would work quickly. Somehow, though, she didn't think he'd have an answer before she'd have to use the bathroom.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

Hoshi went to hop on a biobed and almost overshot, grabbing the edge of the bed at the last moment to keep from flipping over the other side. She'd forgotten about Jon's longer legs.

She looked at Jon who, in her guise, was grunting as he took a seat on the next bed. He had to push himself up with his arms behind him to make his rear reach the mattress. He seemed perplexed as he gazed down at the small feet dangling several centimeters from the deck.

Aware of her own distress at being in his body, Hoshi didn't want to stare at him while he was so confused about being in hers. Yet there was a compulsion to look at her body from this different perspective.

Was she really that petite? Man, did she ever need to do something with her hair. Of course, she'd just gotten out of bed and it was mussed but...

Jon caught her staring and she hastily looked away.

"I don't know what happened," he said, "but we're in this together, Hoshi. We'll get it straightened out and...fixed...back to the way we're supposed to be."

"Aye, sir," she mumbled.

Doctor Phlox, med scanner in hand, bustled back over to them.

"First I'll check your vital signs, then each one of you will have to go into the imaging chamber," he said as he held the scanner first over the person who looked like the captain, then the one who looked like Hoshi.

He made a few noncommittal murmurs as he scanned them.

At last he clicked off the scanner and said, "Nothing out of the ordinary, although both of you are experiencing elevated blood pressure, heart rate and respiration. That could be from some type of emotional stress."

He motioned for Hoshi-in-the-captain's-body to move over to the bed for the imaging chamber. This time she remembered just to hitch up one leg instead of hop up to seat herself. She settled carefully on the bed and Phlox pushed the button to move it into the chamber.

"God, I hate this thing!" she said as it slid into the confined space.

She didn't see Phlox arch an eyebrow at her comment or the speculative look on his face as he glanced over at Jon in her body seated on the other bed.

"Make it fast, Doctor!" she called just before the door of the chamber slid shut. "I've got to go to the bathroom."

The door clunked into place and she was by herself. She waited for the process to begin and worried why it was taking so long to start. The high-pitched hum she'd heard when she'd been in the chamber on other occasions was missing.

She was startled when the door opened and the bed slid back out.

"What's wrong with the machine?" she asked worriedly. "Why didn't you do the scan?"

"There's nothing wrong," Phlox reassured her. "It worked perfectly."

"But I didn't hear..." Her words trailed off as her gaze went to the captain in her body. "You can't hear the higher range of sound that I can!" she exclaimed.

Jon winced. "You don't have to yell, Hoshi. I can hear you fine."

"Switch places, please," the doctor ordered.

"I wish!" Hoshi muttered as she got off the imaging chamber bed so that her body possessed by Jon could be scanned.

Hoshi stood to the side as Jon slid into the chamber on the bed. Phlox entered commands into the console and readouts flashed across the monitor. Shortly thereafter, the scan was finished and the bed slid back out.

Jon sat up and demanded, "Well?"

Perusing the scans of the two officers, Phlox shrugged. "Everything appears to be normal. There's nothing out of the ordinary in the preliminary readings. Let me compare them to what's in your medical files."

As Phlox moved to another work station, Jon got up and came to stand by Hoshi.

"This is so strange," he said, looking up at her with a crooked grin. "I'm used to being one of the taller people on board."

"No offense, sir," she said, looking down at him, "but I really hope I don't have time to get used to it. I mean, being tall is...different. Nice, I suppose. But I want my body back." She shifted from foot to foot. "And I still have to go to the bathroom."

Pausing, she averted her gaze. "And I don't want to!"

Jon must have come to an unpleasant revelation, judging by the look on his -- her, darn it! -- face. "Oh my God!" he said. "I hadn't even thought of that."

"Captain?" Phlox said, interrupting their conversation.

They both turned toward Phlox where he stood next to a computer screen.

"You looked at me when you said, 'Captain'," Jon said. "You've found something."

"Yes, I have," the doctor said. "Your brainwaves, as recorded by the scans, are normal."

Hoshi let out a frustrated breath, only to suck in another huge lungful of air when he added, "Unfortunately, the brainwaves are in the wrong bodies."

* * *

As Phlox readied a battery of tests, Hoshi couldn't wait any longer. She excused herself and headed for the sickbay bathroom. 

After a series of starts and stops, she managed to do what she needed to do, but it wasn't until she finished that she realized she should have put the seat up. Never having done this before, her aim had been off. She cleaned off the seat and then washed her hands thoroughly. Ugh!

_At least I know to put the seat back down, _she thought in disgust as she left the bathroom.

She demurely returned to the main area of sickbay and sat down on a biobed next to the captain, who smiled at her.

"Feel better?" he asked softly.

Blood rushed to her cheeks as she nodded. Next to her, Jon chuckled.

"Damn. Didn't know I could blush. It looks good on me," he said. At her incredulous stare, he added, "Brings out the green in my eyes."

"Sir," she said, still staring at him. There was a twinkle in his -- her! -- eyes. So this is what she looked like when she teased someone. Refusing to be distracted, she continued, "I really don't think this is a time to be joking."

Jon immediately sobered. "I know. But you have to admit this is unusual."

"One might even say extraordinary," Phlox cut in as he returned with hyposyringes to draw blood. "For all intents and purposes, you are the same people, except that your consciousnesses have been put into each other's bodies. I can't begin to fathom how that was accomplished."

"It had to be on that planet," Jon said. "Our visit down there was the only change in our routine for some time."

"But what about Malcolm and Trip and T'Pol?" Hoshi asked. "They were down there with us. Have they been affected?"

Jon got up and went to the comm panel. Pressing the button, he said, "Sub-commander T'Pol, please report to sickbay."

He was turning away from the panel when T'Pol's voice came from the speaker. "Is there a problem, Ensign Sato?"

Jon shook his head, not having anticipated that T'Pol would hear Hoshi's voice when he spoke. He turned back to the comm panel. "The captain needs to see you in sickbay."

"Acknowledged."

As the comm clicked off, Hoshi chuckled. "Quick thinking, Captain." Then she frowned. "I hope she believes us."

"She has no choice but to believe you," Phlox said. "The evidence is irrefutable."

Jon and Hoshi were seated side by side on a biobed when T'Pol entered sickbay and walked over to stand in front of Hoshi.

"You needed to see me, sir?" she asked.

Hoshi cleared her throat and inclined her head toward Jon, who said, "I'm the captain, T'Pol."

As T'Pol fixed Jon with a steady stare and a raised eyebrow, Hoshi spoke up. "I'm actually Hoshi."

T'Pol looked back at her, gave her the once over, and looked at Jon again and repeated the procedure. Then she turned to the doctor and said, "I am assuming since the captain and Ensign Sato are in sickbay, they are being treated for some sort of mental delusion."

"This is going to be tougher than I thought," Jon said with a sigh. "You explain it, Doctor."

As Phlox showed T'Pol the scans and detailed what he had found, Hoshi started worrying about something else.

"T'Pol seems OK," she said softly to Jon, "but what about Malcolm and Trip? Do you think they were switched?"

"I don't know," Jon answered. "We'll find out in a little bit. I didn't want all of them showing up at the same time. I don't think I could have handled that."

"Me, either. ... What?"

"Even if Trip and Malcolm are OK, I was wondering..." Jon's voice faded away.

"You know Trip's going to think this is funny," Hoshi said, "but Malcolm? At the very least, he's going to be upset."

"You two have been together -- about six months now?"

Hoshi nodded. "I have no idea how he's going to react when he finds out the woman he's in love with is now a man."

(A/N: So, anybody out there reading this have any comments so far? Huh?)


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

T'Pol assisted Phlox in carrying out the tests at the same time as she questioned Jon and Hoshi, trying to determine the cause of their predicament. They agreed the catalyst of the body switch had to be connected to the planet they were orbiting.

Five people had gone down to the planet's surface. Jon had piloted the shuttlepod. T'Pol had been included because of her scientific expertise while Hoshi was onboard because of her linguistic abilities. Malcolm had provided the necessary security for the mission. Trip had gone along for the ride, claiming a bad case of cabin fever after having been cooped up on Enterprise for several months.

As was the case with several other planets they had visited in the sector, there were signs of a once-thriving pre-flight civilization. What had happened to the inhabitants -- disease, warfare, natural disaster -- wasn't clear, but they had left behind impressive structures that T'Pol had estimated to be close to a millenium old.

The group had split up after arriving. T'Pol's assignment was to make a geological survey of the area where they landed, and Trip had tagged along with her. Jon and Hoshi had entered one of the structures to look for inscriptions. Malcolm had opted to follow them inside after doing a scan that had turned up nothing but their own bio-signs.

Hoshi had been pleased to find a number of engravings. One in particular had caught her eye. It was etched above a stone archway.

The captain had come over to look as well, and as they stood together under the archway peering up at the alien language, Hoshi had felt a slight tingle. The sensation had lasted only for a moment and she had totally forgotten about it in the excitement of having a new language to decipher.

"It was a really weird feeling," Hoshi said as they discussed the mission. "Almost like I was standing in a charged field of some sort."

"I felt something, too," Jon said. "I remember thinking it was strange that there was a breeze inside the structure."

"A breeze?" T'Pol interjected.

"Well, it felt like when a gentle breeze is blowing and you can feel it touch your skin."

"Perhaps it was a scan of some type," T'Pol said. "There were no signs of any mechanical or electronic devices, however. And if it was the cause of the switch, why didn't the change take place immediately?"

"Maybe the inscriptions on the archway can give us a clue," Hoshi said eagerly.

"We're getting a little ahead of ourselves here," Jon put in. "We need to see if Trip and Malcolm are all right."

"But we're pretty sure it was something to do with the archway," Hoshi said. "Trip never came in the building and Malcolm didn't stand under the arch like we did."

"We should make sure first." Jon sighed as he reached up to push back a strand of long dark hair that had dropped in front of his eyes. "Um, Hoshi, would you mind calling them? If they hear me as I am now ordering them to report to sickbay, they're likely to ask questions over the comm. I'd just as soon not let the rest of the crew know about this yet."

"Perhaps I should summon them," T'Pol said.

Jumping off the biobed, Hoshi said, "No. I'd like to do it. It's not often I get to give my superior officers orders, even if they don't know it's me."

Jon, still seated on the biobed, chuckled and waved Hoshi toward the comm panel.

Both men, in response to Hoshi's best imitation of Jon's command tone of voice, sleepily acknowledged the order to report to sickbay.

Hoshi and Jon were perched next to each other on a biobed when the two officers entered sickbay.

"What's goin' on, Cap'n?" Trip asked, taking in the pair sitting on the bed as well as Phlox and T'Pol huddled over a console across the room.

Much to Hoshi's annoyance, Malcolm was giving Jon a small smile. Of course, Malcolm must think he was smiling at her. There was no reason for her to be irritated, she told herself. Boy, was he in for a shock!

"We have a problem," said the person who looked like their communications officer.

"Hoshi?" Trip said, turning toward her likeness.

"Here we go again," Hoshi muttered, earning a stern glare from Jon and drawing Trip and Malcolm's gazes back to her.

"To make a very long, complicated story short," Jon said, "Hoshi and I have switched bodies."

There was a long moment of silence as Trip and Malcolm looked at the person who looked like Hoshi, then Jon, and finally each other.

A grin crossed Trip's face as he looked at Jon-in-Hoshi's body. "That's funny, Hoshi. I must not be all the way awake yet. I coulda sworn ya said you two switched bodies."

Malcolm didn't comment. He simply crossed his arms and waited, a frown marring his features.

"It's true," Hoshi spoke up. "Something's happened. When I went to bed in my quarters, I was perfectly fine. When I woke up, I was in the captain's cabin."

"But you're the captain," Trip said. "That's where you're supposed to sleep."

"No, I'm Hoshi! I went to bed in my quarters and woke up in the captain's."

Malcolm pinned her with a suspicious glare. "And what exactly did you two do together, sir?"

"Malcolm!" Hoshi yelled, her patience growing thin and not in the mood to deal with a jealous lover. "I didn't do anything with the captain. I woke up as him. I mean, I'm in his body."

"The same thing happened to me," Jon said. "I went to bed in my quarters --the captain's quarters-- alone -- and some time later I woke up in Hoshi's cabin -- alone -- as Hoshi."

"Doc?" Trip called out in concern, Malcolm's face mirroring his friend's bewilderment.

Coming over to join the group by the biobed, Phlox said, "Things are as they claim. Somehow they have switched bodies."

Hoshi gave Malcolm an embarrassed smile.

"But..." Malcolm spluttered, his eyes darting back and forth between the seated pair. "How is that possible?"

"The best we can figure out, the change was initiated on the planet," Jon said. "The actual switch didn't occur until after we returned to Enterprise and were asleep. We were concerned that perhaps you and Trip had been affected as well. That's one of the reasons we asked you to come to sickbay."

Trip's jaw dropped. "You thought Malcolm and I switched bodies?"

Hoshi almost snorted out loud as she saw Malcolm take a step away from Trip. Even if they had switched, it couldn't be near as bad as the gender-swapping she and Jon had been subjected to.

"I'm me!" Trip insisted, although he did give Malcolm a suspicious look.

"I know I'm me," Malcolm said quickly.

"I suggest doing brainwave pattern scans to make certain," T'Pol said.

Phlox nodded and ushered the men away.

After the scans confirmed that Trip and Malcolm were who they were supposed to be, the group turned to solving the mystery of how Jon and Hoshi were switched.

"Did you get anywhere translating any of the inscriptions?" Jon asked Hoshi.

Giving him an incredulous stare, Hoshi jumped off the biobed and burst out, "You've got to be kidding! I haven't had time to even look at the data. If you hadn't insisted on dragging us all over those ruins, maybe I wouldn't have been so tired when we got back and would have been able to start on the translation."

Jon got to his feet and stared up at her. "Calm down, Hoshi."

"Calm down? Calm down!" she yelled in agitation and began to pace. "I'm stuck inside your body and you tell me to calm down? And then you have the audacity to insinuate that I'm not doing my job! When have I had time!"

She abruptly got a grip on her emotions and sat back down on the bed with a thump. She glared at Jon as if daring him to contradict her.

Phlox cleared his throat. "I believe that you are experiencing a rise in the testosterone level in the captain's body, Hoshi. His body is reacting to your emotional reaction to his implication of dereliction of duty."

"What!" she said loudly.

Glancing over at Jon in her body, she was in for another shock. Tears were welling up in what should have been her eyes.

Following her gaze, Phlox clucked. "And it appears the captain is having an equally hard time adjusting to the hormones in your body," the doctor said.

"Better you than me," Hoshi muttered, hitting her fist against the biobed.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jon asked tremulously.

Hoshi just shook her head, not wanting to tell him that he was probably experiencing PMS. For once a man was going to know what women went through once a month.

"Oh my gawd!" Trip said from off to one side where he and Malcolm had been watching the exchange. "I don't think I really believed it until now."

Malcolm didn't say anything but had turned unnaturally pale. He stared at Hoshi in Jon's body and Hoshi gazed back at him in mute appeal.

"It's really me, Malcolm," she said as softly as she could with a deep masculine voice.

He turned away, unable to meet her gaze, and Hoshi wondered if it was possible for the heart she possessed right now to break.

"Damn it, Malcolm!" she called out to him. "It's me. I'm just in a different body!"

He spun to face her, his mouth working but no words coming out. Again he averted his gaze.

Hoshi continued to stare at him as the doctor and T'Pol outlined the tests to be done on the pair to see if the switch could be reversed.

"The inscriptions Ensign Sato recorded could provide information about this phenomenon," T'Pol said.

Still angry at Malcolm for not being more receptive to her, Hoshi jumped off the bed. "I'll go get the data padd they're on," she said. "It's in my quarters."

Her announcement was greeted by strained silence and she stalked out of sickbay.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

Hoshi hurried to her cabin, the long legs of the captain taking her there more quickly than ever before. She forgot to duck when she entered, however, and hit her head on the edge of the door frame.

Never in her life had she felt sorry for a tall person simply for being tall. In fact, it was rather the opposite. She had always envied those long-legged beauties that men drooled over. But rubbing her battered forehead, she felt sorry for tall people and the problems they had that she hadn't even considered. How did Jon keep from smacking his head every time he turned around?

She glanced at the padd where she had dropped it on her desk before going to bed. Instead of picking it up, however, she headed for the bathroom. She forced herself to stand in front of the mirror and look at herself.

She winced at the sight of the developing bruise on Jon's forehead. Nothing like damaging someone else's body that you were borrowing. She hoped she was just borrowing it. She didn't want to be like this forever.

Turning on the tap at the sink, she cupped the big hands and let them fill with water. Jon had incredibly big hands compared to hers. She flexed the fingers and let the water run through them, mesmerized by being able to control someone else's hands as if they were her own. Well, they were her own, at least for the time being.

Sighing, she splashed some water on her face and turned off the tap. She glanced at herself in the mirror as she dried her face on a towel. Green eyes stared back at her.

Frowning, she grabbed her comb and ran it through the mussed hair.

"Ow!"

She'd forgotten that she now had much shorter hair. Apparently a lot thinner too. She'd scraped the scalp dragging the comb through with as much force as she usually did. Compounding the problem was that Jon was a lot stronger than she was. She'd have to be more gentle if she did that again.

She could see her irritation showing through on Jon's visage in the mirror. She stuck out her tongue and almost gagged as the image of the captain did the same. She wiggled the eyebrows suggestively and giggled. Puckering up the lips, she made kissy noises, and dissolved into a fit of laughter.

She was still making faces when the chime sounded.

It was almost a physical effort to get herself under control. She recognized the signs of hysteria but, as she went to answer the door, hoped it was just reaction to the stress of the situation.

The sight of the person on the other side of the door killed any last remnants of laughter.

"Malcolm," she said evenly, drawing herself up to Jon's full height and glaring down at her significant other.

After a few moments of awkward silence, Hoshi relented and stepped back, allowing him into her cabin. Malcolm stepped a few feet into the cabin and stopped as the door slid shut behind him.

"I came to apologize," he said softly, looking anywhere but at her. "I know it's you, Hoshi, it's just..."

Hoshi wasn't willing to let him off so easily. She understood his stand-offishness, but if there had ever been a time when she needed his support, it was now. Was he so hung up on male-female issues that he couldn't accept her as she appeared now? Okay, maybe that was a bit much, she had to admit, but the least he could do was try to be more understanding.

"I'm in a man's body," she finished for him, bitterness in both her tone and posture.

Malcolm gazed at her forlornly and nodded his head. "I'm sorry, Hoshi, it's almost too much to comprehend."

"Malcolm, it's me. Really. Whatever makes me Hoshi, whatever it was that you fell in love with, is inside here."

Impulsively she stepped toward him, taking his hands in hers, but she dropped them immediately as he flinched and pulled back.

"I'm trying to accept what's happened," he said hastily, "but this is so bizarre. I can understand that your personality has been switched with the captain's, but certainly you can't expect me to...treat you the same...now that you're in..." Malcolm ran a hand over his face. "Why did it have to be the captain?"

"Is it the rank thing? The captain outranking you?"

"No," Malcolm said with a dismissive wave. "It's just..."

"What?"

Malcolm gulped. "He's so much bigger than I am."

"Oh, Malcolm!" Hoshi cried in understanding and threw her arms around him, taking a perverse satisfaction that Malcolm couldn't get away from Jon's strong arms. Malcolm could easily have broken her hold if she was still in her own body.

She finally felt him start to relax when she murmured, "He's not bigger than you where it counts."

"I'm not going to ask how you know that," Malcolm said in a prim voice against Jon's chest where Hoshi held him.

A rumble of laughter welled up in her chest and she let Malcolm pull away from her this time. He stared at her, his unease plain to see as Jon's hearty laugh boomed through the cabin.

"I keep telling myself this is only temporary," Hoshi said, looking down at the body she was inhabiting. "Gee whiz! He must have the biggest feet on the ship!"

Malcolm chuckled at that. "The better for stomping on me when I get out of line." He stopped and looked directly at her. "I'm trying to deal with this, Hoshi. And I'll do everything I can to get you back the way you were. But don't expect any public shows of affection right now. I just can't do that, not with you looking like the captain. It's not right."

Hoshi sobered. "I guess I can understand that. Not that you were very demonstrative in public before."

"Well, let's get that data padd and get back to sickbay, shall we?" he asked.

Hoshi smiled knowingly. She knew he had changed the subject on purpose. They'd discussed his aversion to showing affection in public before, and she knew now wasn't the time or the place to have that discussion again.

And it was probably just as well that neither of them had broached the subject of sex. She wasn't even ready to think about that. What if she and Jon couldn't be switched back? No, she wasn't going to think about that now.

She grabbed the data padd and headed for the door, Malcolm following behind her.

* * *

"Would you quit grinning at me?" Jon demanded. 

"I can't help it, Cap'n," Trip said, emphasizing the title and trying to wipe the smile from his face but failing miserably. "I have to say you make a pretty good-lookin' woman."

"Damn it, Trip! This is Hoshi's body you're talking about. It's not funny. We've both been violated, for heaven's sake!" Jon paused for breath. In a quieter voice, he continued, "It's damnably awkward, being in this body."

Jon's obvious distress put a damper on Trip's inclination to make fun of the situation. The engineer stepped over to where his captain -- his now shorter-than-him and very definitely feminine-looking captain -- was seated on the biobed, and frowned as a new thought struck him.

"How's the rest of the crew gonna react to this?" Trip wondered out loud.

"Right now that's the least of my worries," Jon said irritably. "Phlox and T'Pol have got to find a way to reverse whatever caused this. I don't know if I can stand being in Hoshi's body much longer."

"Doc was right about the hormones, huh?"

Jon's head shot up and he stared at Trip but saw only concern on his friend's face. "That's not the half of it. Of course it's different being in a body that's the opposite gender than what you're used to. But Hoshi is not only a subordinate officer under my command, she's a friend. I feel like...I'm afraid to..."

At Trip's encouraging and sympathic expression, Jon rushed on. "I feel like I shouldn't even touch myself, because it's not my body, it's Hoshi's!"

"I hadn't even thought of that!" Trip said. "But...but you're living in it now, so..."

"I know. There are certain things I'm going to have to do, like shower and... you know. The least I can do is take care of her body while I'm 'borrowing' it."

"Just don't let Malcolm near ya," Trip said with a snicker.

"Trip," Jon said dangerously and saw the engineer's eyes widen.

"You really are Jon in there, aren't ya?" Trip said. "That was the best imitation of pissed-off captain I've ever seen."

"Hoshi imitates me?" Jon asked.

Shaking his head, Trip hastily explained. "No, that didn't come out right. I meant that you are the captain 'cause nobody else can do that expression that way. You're right, this is confusing," he said, scratching his head.

The sickbay doors opened and Hoshi and Malcolm walked in.

"I've got the padd with the recordings of the inscriptions," she said, walking over to where Trip was standing next to the captain.

As Hoshi and Jon began calling up the recordings and dumping them into one of the computer tie-ins, Trip leaned toward Malcolm and said quietly, "Ya look a little out of breath."

"Hoshi always walks fast," Malcolm said, "but now she's got the captain's long legs. I almost had to run to keep up with him -- er, her." Malcolm shook his head. "I'm so confused."

"Me, too, Malcolm," Trip said wryly, giving Malcolm's shoulder a sympathetic squeeze. "Me, too."


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

Hoshi had blocked out the conversation of the others in sickbay as she immersed herself in the inscriptions. Nonetheless, the beep from the comm panel intruded upon her concentration.

"Senior officers to the bridge!" Travis' voice rang out. "We are receiving a distress call. Repeat. Senior officers to the bridge."

Hoshi locked gazes with Jon. The crew didn't know about them yet and now they had an emergency to deal with. She saw the same uncertainty she felt in the brown eyes staring back at her. The clenching of her stomach, despite the different body, felt the same as it always did.

Jon nodded. "Hoshi, T'Pol, Malcolm -- you're with me. Trip, you better get down to Engineering."

Phlox looked up in surprise from the microscope where he had been studying Jon and Hoshi's blood samples. "But, Captain--"

"Priorities, Doctor. We've got to take care of the distress call first," Jon said, already striding toward the sickbay doors.

This is ridiculous, Hoshi thought, watching Jon in her body lead the group out of sickbay. They all fell in line behind the diminutive form except for Trip, who turned in the opposite direction to go to Engineering.

They piled into the turbolift and Jon punched the button for the bridge.

"Ah, sir," she started, then stopped under the combined curious stares of Malcolm and T'Pol.

Jon looked up at her. "Yes, Hoshi?"

"Are we going to tell the rest of the bridge crew about us?"

"Let's deal with the distress call first," he said. "Just do what you normally would do, and I'll do what I normally do. T'Pol and Malcolm will back us up."

She looked down at him dubiously. "If you say so, sir. But don't you think--"

The words died in her throat as the turbolift doors slid open.

* * *

Travis had changed course as soon as the distress call had come in and had made a general comm announcement calling the senior officers to the bridge, but he was worried. No one had acknowledged the call. 

He was about to issue the call again when the turbolift doors slid open, and he looked over in relief to see Hoshi bound out, followed by T'Pol, Malcolm, and, last of all, the captain.

His relief turned to puzzlement as Hoshi stepped down to the lower command level and the captain went over to Hoshi's communications console. Travis watched dumbfounded as the captain sat down and put in the earpiece Hoshi used.

"What's our status, Travis?" came Hoshi's voice from behind him.

Travis turned around in his chair to face her. "Excuse me?"

"Answer her, unless you want to be busted back to crewman!" came the captain's voice from the upper level.

Travis saw Hoshi grin at the captain. But then she turned a stern glare on him and he managed to stammer, "We're on a heading for the source of the distress call. Warp 5."

T'Pol at least had taken her usual place, looking into her scanner, Travis noted. "The distress call is coming from a Tellarite ship," she said. "At our current speed, it will take us approximately 26 hours to reach them."

Travis, not daring to take his eyes from his console after the captain's reprimand, heard the click of the comm being opened on the captain's chair and then Hoshi's voice.

"Trip, can we keep up Warp 5 for a day?"

"Sure thing, Ho--...ah, Cap'n," came the reply over the speaker on the arm of the captain's chair. "The engine's purrin' like a kitten even at this speed."

Travis almost gasped out loud. Trip was calling Hoshi "Captain"? What was going on?

From the corner of his eye, Travis watched Hoshi walk over to the captain at the communications console.

"Is there any more information with the distress call?" she asked.

He saw the captain shake his head, one hand to the earpiece. "They're having some kind of engine problem. Nothing more than that."

Their voices dropped and Travis couldn't hear what they were saying. He snuck a glance at T'Pol who didn't seem the least perturbed that the captain and Hoshi were doing each other's jobs. The Vulcan had her face glued to the scanner.

Risking a glance over his shoulder, Travis found Malcolm staring at him. The stern expression on the tactical officer's face made him turn back around quickly and pay attention to his helm console.

"They're answering our hail," the captain said, one hand still holding the earpiece in place. "Their engine is offline and they're operating life support from batteries."

"Ask if they can hold out until we get there," Hoshi instructed.

Travis eyed the insignia on their uniforms as the captain complied with Hoshi's order. Hoshi was still an ensign and the captain was still a captain, at least if you went by their pips. Was he hallucinating this whole experience?

"They say they can," Jon relayed as the information came in, adding, "No one else has responded to their distress call."

Travis watched with wide eyes as Hoshi gestured for the captain to join her as she headed for the turbolift. She stopped and turned to survey the bridge crew, a slight grin on her face.

"Maintain course and speed, Travis," she said. "If there are any changes, notify me. I'll be in the captain's mess."

As the captain passed her and entered the turbolift, she added a parting shot. "And to answer the question everyone is wondering -- I am the captain. Hoshi and I have just switched bodies, that's all."

Travis' mouth fell open as the door slid closed on the turbolift.

* * *

"Nice tactical retreat, sir," Hoshi said as the turbolift began to move. 

Jon leaned against the wall of the turbolift, running a hand over his face and then behind his neck. "Do you always get this tense in an alert situation? Your muscles have all tightened up."

"Sometimes." Hoshi snorted and then scratched at the stubble on her chin. "You really could use a shave, you know?"

Jon shrugged, trying to work the kinks out of the small set of shoulders. "That's one of the reasons I thought we should go somewhere private. We have some things to discuss and we might as well have breakfast at the same time. Phlox will let us know if he has come up with anything concerning our switch."

"I am getting hungry," Hoshi admitted, a deep growl from her stomach punctuating her comment.

The turbolift door opened on E deck and the pair stepped out. Jon, in Hoshi's body, led the way down the corridor to the mess hall. Opting not to go through the serving line which was just being set up for the morning meal, he headed directly for his private dining area.

Jon took his usual seat at the head of the table and Hoshi sat down in a chair next to him. They hadn't counted on the reaction of Crewman Cunningham, the captain's steward, however, to seeing the captain's place usurped by an ensign.

A slight, disapproving frown crossed Cunningham's face as he took in the seating arrangement. Jon gave Hoshi a wink before addressing the waiting steward.

"First, we need a big pot of coffee," he said. "And I'd like scrambled eggs, bacon and hash browns. And if Chef has some of those Danishes left, a couple of those would be good."

Cunningham sniffed -- not quite disdainfully -- and turned toward the man seated at the table. "And you, sir?"

"Just some toast and fresh fruit," Hoshi said.

Cunningham raised his eyebrows. "Are you sure, sir? You generally eat a big breakfast."

Hoshi glared at him through narrowed eyes.

"Yes, sir," Cunningham said hastily. "Toast and fruit."

As the steward began to walk away, she called out, "And a big mug of sweet tea!"

Cunningham hesitated in mid-step, mumbled what sounded like, "Aye, sir," and continued out of the private mess.

"That was fun in an odd, twisted sort of way," Hoshi said with a grin after the door slid shut behind the confused crewman. "I should apologize later."

Jon rolled his eyes. "You are incorrigible. I still can't believe you reprimanded Travis on the bridge and we let him think it was me. We have to get you out of my body as soon as possible. Otherwise, who knows what you'll do to an unsuspecting crew."

Hoshi looked at him in her body. He was leaning forward, elbows on the table, hands steepled. It was so unlike how she would normally sit. She herself was sitting bolt upright, hands clasped on her lap.

"No offense, sir, but I think it's easier for me to act like you in this body than it is for you to act like me in mine."

"Well, we're not going to act like each other any more," Jon said seriously. "We've got a ship to run, and we're enroute to a ship in distress. After we get done here and get back to sickbay, we'll make a shipwide announcement about our situation. Then you get started on the translations again."

Reaching up to touch the pips on the collar of Hoshi's uniform he was wearing, he added, "This is a good place to start. Let's get the right rank markings on us."

Hoshi took two pips off the collar of the uniform she was wearing and handed them to Jon. She had to admit it was strange to see four pips on the collar of the uniform that she should be wearing. Of course, it was even weirder to see herself sitting there.

"They look good on me," she said as she watched Jon finish attaching the last pip.

"Who knows?" Jon said with a grin. "Maybe when this is all over, you'll think about getting on the command track."

"If this is what I have to deal with, no thank you."

Cunningham re-entered the mess with a tray and placed the selections in front of them without saying a word. He was pouring a cup of coffee for the person he thought was Hoshi when he noticed the four pips on the collar. His eyes quickly darted toward the person he thought was the captain and widened at the two pips he saw on that uniform.

"Sir?" he asked hesitantly.

"Yes?" responded both people at the table.

Jon shot Hoshi a glare. "Stop that," he said in Hoshi's voice.

"Sorry," she rumbled unrepentantly. "Couldn't help it."

Jon harrumphed, his decidedly feminine rendition of it causing him to blink. "There's a good explanation for this, Cunningham," he said.

"If you say so. It's not up to me to judge any little games the captain might like to play with a member of the crew."

Jon opened his mouth to speak but Cunningham turned quickly on his heel and beat a hasty retreat.

"Oh, hell. He'll just have to wait until the rest of the crew is informed," Jon said.

"Mmmm," Hoshi mumbled around a mouthful of food. She had devoured the toast and was starting in on an apple, pausing for sips of tea, when she realized Jon was giving her his full attention. She swallowed and asked, "What?"

"You're going to have to eat more than that," he said. "Otherwise I -- I mean you -- will be starving before it's halfway to lunch."

"I am pretty hungry," she admitted. She pointed to the overflowing plate in front of the captain. "And if you eat all that, I'll kill you."

"Why?"

"Don't think just because you're in my body I'm going to let you put on a bunch of excess weight. If you eat three meals a day like that, I'll gain an extra five pounds by the end of the week."

Jon poked at the eggs on his plate with his fork. "You've got a point. To tell the truth, I don't think I can eat all this. I just ordered what I normally would."

"In that case, slide your plate over here. I'll take care of it."

Jon wound up eating a slice of canteloupe that was included in Hoshi's fruit as well as a strip of bacon he filched back from his plate. He did stick with the coffee, however; he wasn't about to give up his usual morning brew.

Their hunger appeased, talk turned to more practical matters.

"I suggest we keep our own cabins," he said. "But we're going to have to borrow each other's uniforms and other clothing."

"Only if I'm there to pick out what you're borrowing," Hoshi said, a slight blush staining her now masculine cheeks as she thought about the captain wearing some of her underthings.

"Same here," Jon agreed, a blush tinging his face as well.

After Cunningham had cleared away the dishes, leaving them alone with the pot of coffee and two cups, Jon broached a new subject. "Um. I'm not quite sure how to bring this up," he began, fidgeting in his seat.

"You have to use the bathroom, don't you?" Hoshi said. At Jon's startled look, she said, "If I'd drunk as much coffee as you did, I would."

"Well, yeah. You already took care of that once in sickbay but I haven't..."

Hoshi grinned. "Just remember to sit down when you do it."

Jon didn't bother to say anything more. He stood up and went into the bathroom adjacent to the private dining room. He reappeared some minutes later with a bemused look on his face.

"You OK?" Hoshi asked.

"Yeah. Let's just say I'll remember to put the seat down after I'm done from now on. And I'm definitely checking to make sure it's that way before I sit down."

Hoshi's deep laughter could be heard all the way out in the mess hall.


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

Jon and Hoshi checked in with Phlox upon their return to sickbay. After Jon made a general announcement over the comm to the crew about what had happened to them, Hoshi spent the rest of the morning trying to translate the inscriptions.

She was glad she had something to keep her occupied. That last thing she wanted to do was be out and about among the crew now that they knew about the body switch. She could imagine some of the comments. She was perfectly content to hide in sickbay since Phlox needed both her and Jon there for more testing.

But trying to translate the alien language was slow going. She had taken numerous scans not only of the archway but of other inscriptions they had found in the ruins. If she'd had to work from just the archway engraving alone, there probably wouldn't have been enough to even make a guess as to what it said.

Mid-way through the morning, T'Pol appeared in sickbay with an update on her research. If the switch had been made by some mechanism on the planet, she said, it was either shielded so well that scans couldn't pick it up or it was made of organic or biological components that didn't register as a functioning device.

"Is that possible?" Jon asked from where he was hovering over Phlox's shoulder as he studied some of the test results.

"There are a few species which have developed biological circuitry systems," the Vulcan said. "Incorporating them into systems most other species utilize has not been found to be practical. It is an 'all or nothing' approach. Biological components do not work well in concert with existing mechanical or electronic systems."

"But this is just a hypothesis," Hoshi put in from her seat at a computer console. "For all we know, there isn't anything but ruins on that planet."

"The sensation reported by both you and the captain of being in a charged field is one of the hallmarks of a biological system," T'Pol said.

Jon sighed heavily. "Well, at least we have a theory to start with. Maybe once Hoshi cracks the language, we'll be able to find out more."

They returned to their tasks, but Hoshi found it hard to concentrate. For one thing, she'd been up half the night and she couldn't keep from yawning.

As she waited for some algorithms seeking the most frequently used symbols to finish running, her thoughts turned to Malcolm. She'd deliberately avoided thinking about him all morning. It was just too unsettling.

If ever she needed some "cuddle time" it was now. Somehow, though, she didn't think she could talk Malcolm into it. Not only was it bad enough that she was now in a man's body but, as he had pointed out, it was the captain's body.

In any case, if he did physically show her some affection while she was in Jon's body, she wasn't sure what would happen. The incident Phlox had attributed to Jon's rise in testosterone when she'd lost her temper had scared her. As unlikely as it seemed, if Malcolm actually did do something like kiss her, how would Jon's body react? What would be worse -- responding to Malcolm the way she was now, or decking him?

Best not to even contemplate it, she decided. She'd settle for Malcolm being near her, and felt a surge of anticipation as she remembered that they were supposed to have their weekly workout together later today. For once she might be able to intimidate him.

Jon came over to take a seat next to the console where Hoshi was working.

"I have the worst headache," he said. "And your knees are killing me. Do you have a problem with them?"

"Uh-oh," she murmured.

"Uh-oh what?"

Hoshi glanced around. Phlox was busy in his office and there was no one else in sickbay. She leaned a little closer to Jon.

"I'm sorry, sir, but in about two days, you're going to..."

She waited to see if he would understand what she was getting at. The only reaction she got, however, was a puzzled frown.

"I'm going to what?" he asked.

Hoshi swallowed. This was going to be harder and more embarrassing than she'd thought, but there was no sense in beating around the bush. "You're going to have my period."

"Oh, geez." Jon closed his eyes and hung his head. "Tell me I didn't hear what you just said."

"I'm sorry, sir, but it's a normal, biological function for women, complete with headaches and, in my case, knees that ache something terrible. About tomorrow evening, you should be having cramps, too."

"Why does your body have to be doing this now?" he whined.

"It's not like I have any choice," Hoshi said defensively. "It just happens."

Rubbing his knees, Jon looked at her in disbelief. "You feel like this every month?"

Hoshi nodded. "Welcome to my world. It's a bitch, isn't it?"

"I've been having mood swings ever since we changed bodies," Jon confessed. "First I attributed it to the switch, being in a body that's not mine, but if this is how you feel because of the hormones, no wonder you women get so cranky and hard to live with--"

"Hey!"

"Sorry," he groaned.

"Come on," she said, getting up from the console and giving him a sympathetic smile. "I've got something that will help. And we need to see about clothing so we have to go to my quarters anyway."

"Isn't there something Phlox can do about this?" Jon asked miserably.

"He can give you something for the headache but the bitchiness won't go away, sir," Hoshi said apologetically. "You have to learn how to control it. Just channel all the irritation into your command attitude. That will help."

"The crew would mutiny!"

"No, they won't," she said as she led him out of sickbay. "You're the captain. They can't mutiny simply because you're experiencing PMS. However, I find that exercise helps relieve some of the tension that accompanies having my period. And lay off the coffee. Caffeine doesn't help, either."

They were about halfway to her cabin when Jon suddenly stopped walking and started laughing. Hoshi turned to stare down at him in concern, wondering if he was being affected by her hormones so much that he was having a breakdown. He was laughing so hard that tears were leaking from the corners of his eyes.

When he finally calmed down, she asked, "Are you OK?"

"Yeah," he said, wiping his eyes. "It's just hit me, though. I'm having 'girl talk' with one of my crewmembers."

"Come on, sir," Hoshi said, rolling her eyes and grabbing his arm to tug him along.

Once again the difference in bodies struck her as she felt how small her arm was under Jon's big hand. He must think of her as a china doll. No wonder he was always looking out for her. He probably thought she'd break if a strong wind came along.

She was smiling as she punched in her access code. Not only was she looking forward to trying out his body during her workout with Malcolm, but Jon ought to come along too. He'd be surprised what her body could do. It wasn't as fragile as it looked.

"So what is it that you have that's going to help me deal with this?" Jon asked as they entered her cabin.

Hoshi didn't say anything. She walked over to her dresser and opened the top drawer. Rummaging around inside it, she took stock of her stash and found what she was looking for.

"This," she said, turning around to hold up it for him to see.

"A candy bar?"

"A _chocolate_ candy bar."

At Jon's bemused expression, she explained. "There's something about chocolate that takes the edge off the way you're feeling right now. Haven't you ever heard of women craving chocolate?"

"They do seem to like it more than the average male," he said as he reached for the bar. Unwrapping it, he said, "But I just thought they liked it more than say, oh...apple pie or a slice of cake."

"Slowly, sir," she said as he took a large bite. "You have to savor it."

She watched as he slowed consumed the entire bar. When he had finished, she asked, "Feeling better?"

He shrugged. "A little. Maybe."

She turned back to the drawer which she had left open. In addition to her chocolate stash, it also contained underwear. She lifted out a few pieces of clothing and placed them on top of the dresser. If it weren't for the fact that she was picking out clothes for herself -- sort of -- she would have been more embarrassed.

"Now we need to see about what you're going to wear," she said, holding up a matching pair of black panties and bra.

"I need more chocolate," Jon said in a strangled voice.

* * *

Malcolm dropped his gym bag on the bench. He didn't expect Hoshi to show up for their workout. He wasn't even sure he wanted her to. All he really wanted was to get the Tellarite freighter straightened out and on its way so they could get back to that miserable planet and figure out how to reverse what had happened to Hoshi. 

He started warming up, doing some stretching, intending to move on to some aerobic moves and then perhaps a round or two with the punching bag. It would be a good way to work off some of the frustration he felt about the situation and how it was affecting his relationship with Hoshi.

Relationship? He snorted. They didn't have a relationship right now. When he thought of Hoshi, he thought of a warm, sweet, feminine creature who was slightly shorter than himself, soft in all the places he wasn't.

Now she was in the captain's body and the captain in hers, he thought with a shudder. If that wasn't some sort of violation, he didn't know what was.

Intellectually, he understood he was jealous. Why did it have to be the captain she had been switched with? Jon was good-looking, tall, charming... Did he remember to have tall on that list? Malcolm had an irrational fear that, if they did get back in their own bodies, Hoshi would be bonded with the captain in some way that would doom his relationship with her.

His dark mood wasn't improved when the gym doors slid open to admit Hoshi and the captain, both wearing sweats. For a moment he had a hope that somehow they had been switched back, but then the person who looked like Hoshi said, "I hope you don't mind, Malcolm. Hoshi invited me to work out with you two."

"Quite all right, sir," he said, lying through his teeth. This was going to be even worse than working out with Hoshi alone.

Hoshi began running through her usual warm-up exercises. It was strange to see Jon's body performing the moves that he was used to seeing Hoshi do.

Jon, meanwhile, had gone over to the exercise bikes. He hopped up onto a seat and a strange look crossed his face. "Forgot about the shorter legs," he said as he got back down and adjusted the height of the seat.

Embarrassed on the captain's behalf, Malcolm turned his attention back to Hoshi. He sighed. She'd want to do their usual workout, of course.

He approached her and said softly, "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yes. Why do you ask?"

"We've been working on throws and you're in a different body now."

"So?"

"Well, it's a different body. You're probably not used to...operating it."

Hoshi huffed. "Look, Malcolm. I've got to work off some frustration."

As she finished her warm-up, Malcolm saw a sly smile cross what should have been the captain's features. She picked up the towel and wiped the sweat from her face, then tossed the towel aside and rubbed her hands.

"I promise I'll take it easy on you," she said with a grin, advancing on him.


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

Hoshi ached all over.

Malcolm had been right. She wasn't used to being in a different body. He'd thrown her several times before she'd gotten the hang of using Jon's differences -- the height, the weight, the stronger shoulders and arms.

But once she had -- poor Malcolm! He was probably going to be just as black and blue as she was tomorrow.

Served him right, too. There was something about the smug expression he was wearing after the first few times he'd broken her hold and thrown her decisively to the mat that had made her want to wipe the floor with him. She almost had, too, and had been startled to realize that she'd had to restrain herself once she'd figured out how to most effectively use her newfound strength.

When Malcolm had realized that she was enjoying what she was doing, he hadn't held back. They'd been fairly evenly matched from there on out. Malcolm was smaller than the captain, but quicker and more agile. She had had to rely on the captain's superior strength and body mass to keep Malcolm from besting her.

Shifting under the blankets on her bunk, she sighed. She was bone-weary and should be having no trouble going to sleep. Yet she was afraid to. She didn't want to wake up in the morning to find she was still in the captain's body.

Jon was probably feeling the same way about being in her body. She smiled as she remembered their visit to his quarters before the workout.

They had agreed that, for the duration, they'd stick to Starfleet-standard issue including underwear and not use each other's civilian clothing except for sweat pants and shoes. Still, it had been a lot less embarrassing for her to accept his briefs and uniforms than it had been for him to take her items of clothing.

At least he had Porthos to comfort him. Somehow the dog had sensed the difference in them.

When they'd entered Jon's cabin, the beagle had run right to her and stopped, his ears cocked and his nose twitching furiously. Then he had sat down on his haunches, head tilted to one side as he gazed up in doggy confusion at the familiar face of the person who was supposed to be his master.

"Come here, boy," Jon had said in her voice and Porthos had trotted obediently over to him. After a few sniffs at Jon's boots, the dog's tail began to wag hesitantly. When Jon squatted down and petted him, the canine seemed to realize that this was his real master, no matter what his little eyes were showing him, and his tail had whipped back and forth in a frenzy of happiness. Porthos had licked the face, somehow knowing that underneath Hoshi's visage it was Jon inside.

Ah, well, Hoshi thought as she rolled over. Tomorrow they'd arrive at the Tellarite ship. Helping the ship in trouble was a distraction in more ways than one. It would keep her mind off her problem while at the same time delaying them in their investigation into making the switch back.

Hope for the best, she thought as she drifted off to sleep.

* * *

_This is so definitely not best_, she thought the next morning as she sat at her console on the bridge as they approached the Tellarite ship. 

The day hadn't started out badly. She'd been pleasantly surprised to find Malcolm outside her cabin, hand poised to push to chime, when she'd opened her door to leave that morning. He'd stuttered something about not letting her run the gauntlet alone and she felt of rush of love for the man who obviously was having a harder time dealing with her predicament than she was.

She and Jon had agreed to arrive on the bridge together after sharing breakfast again in his private mess, so she had led Malcolm there. Jon had his own moral support present in the form of Trip, and the four of them sat down to breakfast together. Trip managed to hold himself to two bad jokes about out-of-body experiences before Jon threatened him with court-martial, but their bantering -- some of which was in her voice -- was a pleasant change from the strained conversations of yesterday.

Trip and Malcolm accompanied them to the bridge after breakfast. Safety in numbers, Hoshi thought wryly as she made her way over to her console. Even if someone was tempted to make a crack about her or the captain, the identical stern expressions on Malcolm and Trip's faces would have stopped them dead in their tracks.

A quick glance around the bridge showed no one else was paying her any attention, so she caught Travis' eye and stuck out her tongue at him. She was rewarded by seeing him trying not to laugh out loud.

"Yep. It's you," he mouthed at her and she bit back her own giggle just as her console beeped with an incoming message.

"Oh no," she said under her breath as she listened to the message. Loudly she said, "Captain! We're being hailed by another vessel on an approach to the Tellarite vessel. It's Shran."

From the captain's chair, Jon said, "Put it--" but stopped in mid-sentence.

He and Hoshi shared a long glance and both shook their heads. No way were they going to let Shran know what had happened. And if he did find out, well, neither of them wanted to give Shran another opportunity to make fun of humans.

"Perhaps, I should handle the communication and tell him that you are indisposed," T'Pol put in.

"Good idea," Jon said. "If Shran's not here to help the Tellarites, tell him to stay out of our way."

Hoshi thought that was a clever idea until Shran's response made things worse. He indicated he not only wanted to assist Enterprise in helping the Tellarites, but he wanted to see Captain Archer as well.

"Tell him we'll arrange that after we take care of the Tellarites," Jon said in a whisper to T'Pol.

T'Pol raised an eyebrow but relayed the message, telling Shran the captain would contact him later to arrange the meeting.

"You didn't have to do that!" Jon said after the connection was cut.

Unperturbed, T'Pol said, "It would be better for you to have the initiative in arranging a meeting that is unavoidable than to allow Shran that advantage. I would suggest you invite him here."

"You mean on board Enterprise?" Jon asked.

T'Pol nodded.

Jon grunted, a strange sound to hear coming from what should have been her own throat, Hoshi thought, and then he turned his gaze to her. She felt her stomach clench. He had said they weren't going to act like each other any more. Please, please, please, don't let him get any wild ideas about her being alone with Shran looking like him, she prayed fervently.

But Jon didn't say anything more, and the rest of the morning was spent assisting the Tellarite ship. To keep from getting in each other's way, Enterprise sent a detail over to work on the engine while the Andorian ship sidled up to the Tellarite ship, setting up a connection to provide power to the crippled vessel.

The Tellarite engine room was a mess, Trip reported after an initial assessment of the situation.

"Biggest problem is they don't seem to do very much maintenance," he reported from the alien engine room. "A few of their auxiliary systems also got fried when the main power source started fluctuatin', and everything's gonna have to be taken out, checked and possibly replaced."

According to Trip, the Tellarite engine wasn't very complex and would only take about a day to fix. Hoshi greeted this information with a sigh of relief. She'd been trying to work on the translations while manning the communications console but the constant interruptions of reports and messages between the two ships kept getting in the way.

Finally, she asked the captain for permission to leave the bridge and work in her cabin.

"Want to take a lunch break first?" he asked, and Hoshi detected a hint of uneasiness on the captain's borrowed face. Apparently he didn't want to be alone with the rest of the crew, either.

"Sure, sir," she said, and signaled for a relief to take her place.

Jon turned the bridge over to Malcolm and then he and Hoshi left, both of them relaxing as the bridge was put behind them.

They had just taken their seats in the captain's mess when T'Pol paged Jon. He went to lean back in his chair to use the comm panel behind him, but realized he couldn't reach it with his current shorter arm span. With a disgusted grimace, he got up and stood by the panel.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Shran is very insistent about seeing you. He is inviting you to come aboard his ship."

"I thought you told him I'd contact him."

"I did," T'Pol's serene voice came back. "Apparently, he has very little patience."

Hoshi watched apprehensively as a series of emotions crossed the captain's face. The final one was resignation. She hadn't realized her face was so easy to read and made a note to work on her poker face when she got back in her proper body.

"May as well get this over with," Jon said. "Tell him to come over here. Have him escorted to the captain's mess."

As the comm clicked off, Hoshi asked, "Sir?"

"Let's face it, Hoshi," Jon said. "There's no way we're going to get around not letting Shran know about what's happened to us."

"We could try to fool him--"

"No. That would just be more embarrassing if Shran figures it out on his own. ... We'll wait until he arrives, then we'll share a meal together and discuss this like civilized beings."


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: I guess here is where I tell you that there are 13 chapters in this story, in case you were wondering how much longer I could prolong this. However, this chapter, Ch. 8, is my favorite one in the entire bunch.

CHAPTER 8

Shran entered the private mess and immediately made a beeline toward the person he believed was the captain.

"I've been studying your culture, Captain Archer," Shran said, thrusting his hand toward Hoshi with a smirk on his blue-tinged lips. "Put it there, pink skin!"

Hoshi stared mutely at the extended appendage and then gave the real captain a desperate glance.

"Shran," Jon said, drawing the Andorian's attention to the petite female figure seated at the head of the captain's table.

"That's Commander Shran to you! And I don't believe we've had the pleasure of being introduced," Shran said, his irritation at being interrupted by a subordinate making his antennae stand straight up.

"Shran," Jon said again, rising to his feet and getting a shock when he realized he had to look up to the Andorian, even when he drew himself up to Hoshi's full height. "I'm Jonathan Archer."

Shran studied him for a moment, then threw back his head and laughed. "Oh, yes. I've come across references to 'practical jokes' in my study of your culture." He turned back to Hoshi. "Nice try, Captain Archer, but I'm not that easy to fool. Really, I would have expected better from you."

"I'm not the captain," Hoshi said, rising from her chair. "I'm Ensign Hoshi Sato, the communications officer."

"Your insignia says you're an ensign, but you look like Archer to me," Shran said, impatience at the perceived charade creeping into his voice.

"Shran!" Jon said yet again, and Hoshi could see the effort it took Jon to keep his temper in check. "The ensign and I have switched bodies."

Shran's scowling gaze went from one to the other and back again. "You've had your fun. Now please do me the courtesy of acting like yourselves."

"It's not funny!" Jon said. "We've aren't who we seem."

"That much is obvious from the reception I've gotten. You're out of your little pink-skinned minds," Shran said sourly. Switching his attention back to Hoshi, he added, "Now, I suggest you end your little joke and you and I can talk without underlings around."

"Maybe Doctor Phlox can convince him?" Hoshi asked Jon meekly.

"Better yet, let's ask T'Pol to explain it to him," Jon said devilishly. Sarcasm dripped from his next words. "I know how much Shran appreciates her company."

Shran glared at Jon, the slightest narrowing of his eyes and the curling of his antennae betraying displeasure as well as the first inkling of doubt. "You wouldn't dare have that Vulcan 'explain' something to me like I'm a dim-witted child!"

"Try me," Jon shot back.

Shran's gaze lingered on the four pips on the collar of the woman claiming to be captain of Enterprise.

"Your attitude certainly reminds me of Captain Archer," Shran conceded, seating himself at the table without invitation and gesturing for the others to retake their seats. "Explain how this situation occurred."

Over lunch, Jon detailed how the switch had come about. Shran listened avidly, his interruptions and snide comments coming less frequently as the tale unfolded. By the time Jon had finished, Shran had a thoughtful look on his face. That is, Hoshi thought with disgust, when he wasn't leering at Jon in her body.

During a lull in the conversation, she took the opportunity to excuse herself. This interval with Shran was just another distraction. What she really wanted was to get back to work on deciphering the inscriptions.

She crossed through the main mess hall, feeling the curious stares of the crewmen eating lunch. She avoided eye contact with everyone, intent on making it to her quarters without another embarrassing or awkward meeting. Other than the senior staff, she hadn't talked to anyone about what had happened, and she wasn't sure she wanted to.

But -- damn it! -- why did Jon have to be so tall? It was hard to be inconspicuous when you towered over everyone else.

She unconsciously adopted Jon's arm-swinging, fast-paced stride that was a clear sign he was pissed off, and the few crewmen she passed in the corridors gave her a wide berth.

Entering her cabin, she heaved a heartfelt sigh and sat down at her desk to call up the inscriptions. She caught herself staring at the unfamiliar fingers on the keyboard as she entered commands.

She closed her eyes, trying to calm herself, and took several deep breaths. It worked until she swallowed and Jon's Adam's apple bobbed up and down. Even when she wasn't looking at herself, she was aware of the differences.

With a grimace, she forced herself to concentrate. Soon she was immersed in the inscriptions, comparing common symbols and their placement in the language's structure.

Some time later, the door chime startled her out of her study and breaking her train of thought.

"Come in!" she called out.

The door slid back to reveal Malcolm. She gave him a smile and inclined her head, indicating he should enter.

"How's it going?" he asked. "Making any headway on the translation?"

Hoshi rubbed her tired eyes. "Not as much as I'd like. I thought I was on to something there for a moment, but I'm not sure."

He came to stand next to her and, after only a slight hesitation, placed his hand on her shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "I'm sure you'll figure it out."

She smiled, both at his reassurance and the fact that he had actually touched her in a gesture of support while she was in this body. That must have been hard for him to do.

"I checked sickbay when I took my lunch break," Malcolm said. "I was surprised not to find you or the captain there."

"I needed some place quiet to work."

Malcolm leaned toward her. "I heard Shran showed up and had lunch with you two."

"I left as soon as I could," Hoshi said. "The captain's probably still tied up with Shran."

"You left the captain -- in your body -- alone with Shran?" Malcolm asked in alarm.

"You have a problem with that?"

"No. ... Well, yes. Bloody hell! I'm going to go check on him -- them."

* * *

A small part of Jon was amused by the change that came over Shran after Hoshi left. The Andorian was charmed by his communications officer's appearance, despite the fact that it was occupied by Jon, and was turning on the charisma like crazy. 

A larger part of Jon was royally ticked. Wasn't it just like Shran to seek some sort of advantage from the dilemma an opponent was in? Jon didn't kid himself -- he and Shran had butted heads on more than one occasion, and the blue-skinned antennaed-alien was more apt to look at him as an adversary than as a friend.

But just because Jon looked like a woman didn't mean he'd lost any of his powers of reasoning. Or his sense of decorum, for that matter. He suppressed a sigh as Shran scooted his chair closer for the third time in less than five minutes.

"I may have some information that could shed some light on what's happened to you," Shran purred in that silky voice he used when he wanted something.

"And that is...?" Jon asked warily, edging away from the encroaching Andorian as far as he could while still seated.

"There have been stories back on Andor," Shran began, eyeing Jon up and down. "I have it on good authority that some Imperial Guard forces visited the same planet where you claim this 'body switch' was initiated."

Despite Shran's increasingly lascivious attitude, Jon looked with interest at the Andorian. "Oh?"

"Several members of the Guard were consequently relieved of duty." Shran paused for effect. "Their claims of being in the wrong bodies were thought to be symptomatic of a mental disorder."

"Didn't anyone take them seriously?" Jon asked.

"Oh, they were checked out. A ship was even sent to that planet to investigate, and more members of the Imperial Guard came down with whatever strange malady had affected the other victims. They're in a facility now where they can't hurt themselves. I mean, where they can be taken care of properly."

Shran leaned back in his chair with an air of satisfaction.

"That's it?" Jon asked.

"Yes. But all Andorian ships are now under strict orders not to make landfall on that planet."

Jon pondered Shran's words. Andorians had been subjected to the same body-switching as he and Hoshi had been but they hadn't figured out the actual process. No wonder the Imperial Guard had issued the order for its ships to stay away from the planet. That they'd tried to pass off the aberration as a mental disorder rather than find a solution struck Jon as irresponsible as well as immoral.

He was certain the Andorians hadn't figured out how to reverse the procedure because Shran would have said so. He wouldn't hesitate to boast about something like that and, in typical Shran fashion, offer the solution to Jon but with a price attached.

Jon moved to get up so that he could pace. He did his best thinking when he was in motion. The switch in bodies hadn't changed that aspect of him.

A blue hand on his arm stopped him. He looked from the hand to Shran's face and didn't like what he saw there.

"Really, Captain," Shran said, all but purring, "if there was a way to change you back, don't you think I'd let you know? Not that I don't like the way you look now. It opens up a whole new set of possibilities for our...professional...relationship."

Jon shook off Shran's hand and stood up. "Get the hell away from me, Shran!" he said, indignation in every muscle of Hoshi's body.

Jon wondered if this all-consuming rage was what Hoshi felt when some guy she didn't like made a crude pass at her. Deep down, he also felt the cold fingers of fear touch him. In his true body, he wouldn't have any qualms about a physical confrontation with Shran. Now, in Hoshi's body, he had serious doubts.

The Andorian got to his feet as well. Jon's sudden flare of temper hadn't dissuaded him. If anything, it seemed only to encourage Shran, and he began stalking Jon.

Trying to keep the table between them, Jon had several opportunities to run for an exit, but he didn't. What would the crew think of their captain running from another ship's commander simply because there were sexual politics involved?

Jon realized Shran must know what he was thinking as the Andorian deliberately followed him around the table, leaving the way clear to the door.

"Why don't we sit down and talk about this like civilized beings?" Shran asked, unknowingly using Jon's earlier words to Hoshi.

"Shut up!" Jon spat out. "If you think simply because I look like a female right now that you can try--"

"I am trying," Shran said. "I find your new appearance, coupled with your authority over the finest ship in Starfleet, to be incredibly provocative. This could turn out to be a first for Andorian-human relations."

"Shran, I'm warning you--"

Shran lunged, narrowly missing as Jon scrambled away.

His back to the main door, Jon didn't see it slide open. He was too preoccupied with keeping out of Shran's clutches.

Therefore, the entire mess hall -- including a concerned Malcolm Reed who had opened the door when his request for entrance went unanswered -- heard Jon's enraged bellow in Hoshi's shrill voice.

"Damn it, Shran! KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF!"


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

The appearance of a very pissed-off tactical officer quelled Shran's ardor. That, and the fact that Malcolm's fingers were wrapped around the Andorian's neck seconds after the door to the captain's mess had opened.

"Let him go, Malcolm," Jon said, breathing heavily after the chase around the table. "I'm sure Shran will behave now."

Malcolm reluctantly loosened his grip but not before giving Shran a vicious shake. The Andorian rubbed his neck and eyed Malcolm warily where he stood an arm's span away.

"Perhaps it would be best if I returned to my ship," Shran rasped out.

"Yes, it would," Jon said, stepping back to allow Shran to leave.

"And don't come back!" Jon heard Malcolm mutter under his breath as the door slid shut behind the Andorian.

Jon looked at his savior and said, "Thanks, Malcolm, but I'm sure I could have handled him."

"Begging the captain's pardon, but I don't think you could!"

Malcolm's outburst was laden with righteous indignation. Jon stared at his officer. Malcolm was still flushed with anger, his hands clenched at his sides. He'd never seen Malcolm worked up like this before.

"Are you saying that I wouldn't have been able to defend myself?" Jon asked.

Malcolm let out a gust of air. "If I may speak freely, sir?"

Jon nodded.

"This whole unnatural situation -- you in Hoshi's body and Hoshi in yours -- it's not right!"

"Tell me something I don't know," Jon said, beginning to get a little peeved himself.

"Sir! I mean that you aren't aware of what Hoshi's body is capable and not capable of doing." Malcolm paused to take a deep breath. "You thought you could handle Shran, but what if you tried to 'manhandle' him, for lack of a better word, and found you didn't have the strength you needed?"

"Your point, Lieutenant?" Jon asked harshly.

Malcolm stood at attention, aware of the shift in Jon's mood. He thanked God he'd never heard Hoshi speak to him so icily. It was so hard to think of the person before him as the captain when all he saw was Hoshi's lithe form. That was the crux of the whole problem he had in dealing with this mess, wasn't it?

"Because of your unfamiliarity of the body you inhabit, sir," Malcolm plowed on, "you could...hurt...Hoshi's body through your own ignorance."

"Believe me, Lieutenant, the last thing I intend to do is damage our communications officer's body!" Jon said from between clenched teeth. "Don't you dare presume to tell me how to take care of it, either."

Malcolm gulped. He'd overstepped his bounds. If it had been the captain in his own body alone with Shran, he wouldn't have been concerned. But he had been worried about what Shran might try to do to Hoshi's body, even knowing it wasn't really her, and he'd let the protective, possessive feelings he had for her override his common sense.

He waited, expecting a reprimand he knew he deserved, and shook his head slightly as he tried to sort through the morass of muddled emotions that had dogged his every waking moment since he'd found out the captain and Hoshi's personalities had traded bodies.

Jon strode over to the window and placed his hands on the frame. It was a stance Malcolm had seen the captain assume on numerous occasions when he was troubled or trying to come to a decision. Seeing the small, familiar form in that stance, he felt an urge to rush over and offer comfort. Then sanity reasserted itself and he very deliberately told himself, "That is NOT Hoshi."

"I'm sorry, Malcolm," Jon said at last. "You were just doing your job, and you were right. I really don't know how to take care of myself in this body."

Jon turned to face him, and Malcolm could see the sheen of unshed tears. Tears? Even more embarrassing than a dressing down, the last thing Malcolm wanted was for his commanding officer to break down and cry in front of him. Suddenly he wished he'd never come to the captain's private mess, Shran or no Shran.

Jon sniffed and wiped at his eyes. "Sorry," Jon said again. "I'm having a hard time dealing with Hoshi's hormones at this time of the month."

Malcolm's eyes widened in realization and he suddenly was glad it wasn't he who had changed places with Hoshi. There were some things a man just shouldn't have to endure.

"Ah, no need to say anything else, sir," Malcolm said. "Having been around Hoshi when it's this time, I understand what you're going through."

"No, you don't!" Jon shot back but with a smile on his face. "I wouldn't wish this on anyone. How they put up with it I have no idea."

"Has Hoshi told you about chocolate?"

"You know about that?" Jon asked.

"Yes, sir. I've made it a point to make sure I have a supply handy in case Hoshi's stash is ever depleted. Believe me, you don't want to be around her if she's craving chocolate and there's none to be had."

There was a moment of awkward silence as Malcolm wondered if Jon was done with him and he should leave. Then Jon, avoiding Malcolm's eyes, spoke again.

"You're right, Malcolm. I don't know how to take care of this body, at least as far as using a smaller body than I'm accustomed to in a physical confrontation." He took a shuddering breath. "If, for some reason, Hoshi and I cannot be switched back, I'll need additional training."

"Very good, sir," Malcolm said, feeling one small knot in the bundle of tension he'd become lately begin to unwind at the same time as another being to twist tightly around his gut. There had to be a way to get them back to their proper bodies. He couldn't let himself dwell on any other outcome.

"I'm not willing to accept that this is a permanent condition," Jon said, echoing Malcolm's thoughts. "If that does happen, then we'll see about physical training for me."

Jon dismissed his tactical officer. He hadn't brought up his biggest fear, which he wasn't about to broach in the company of a subordinate. If he couldn't get back in his proper body, would he be able to retain command of Enterprise?

He knew some of Malcolm's concern was due to his involvement with Hoshi. Jon had always thought of Hoshi as a little sister, and he was glad that she had found herself a good man.

A heavy sigh escaped his lips as he tried to relax. Must be nice to have someone on board who cares about you that way. The only one that felt that way about him was the little dog waiting in his cabin.

He sighed again and gave in to the inevitable. He rang for Cunningham and told him to bring him some of the chocolate cheesecake Chef had on the day's menu.

* * *

Hoshi spent the rest of the afternoon and part of the evening in her cabin, pouring over the inscriptions. Every time she thought she had a handle on understanding the intricacies of this new language, it slipped out of her mental grasp just as surely as water through a sieve. 

Rubbing the back of her neck, she wondered what was wrong with her. Well, other than she was in someone else's body and that person was in hers. Phlox and T'Pol hadn't made any headway in figuring out what had caused it, much less whether it could be reversed.

And then there was the fact that Malcolm was trying to deal with the situation but was still in a state of shock. Her man had gone from a stud puppy to a stunned puppy, she thought with a rueful snort. While she felt sorry for him, she felt even sorrier for herself.

What was really bothering her was that she was a person who liked to be around other people. But she just couldn't bring herself to leave her cabin unless she absolutely had to. It was just too awful being subjected to the pitying stares. At least she couldn't hear the hushed comments -- Jon's hearing was nowhere near as good as hers.

With longing she glanced at her dresser. There was always her chocolate stash but she wasn't in the mood for it. Besides, Jon was going to need it more than she did.

No, what she really wanted, she realized with a start, was a good, stiff...

Drink.

Malcolm didn't have any alcohol squirreled away. He wasn't much of a drinker. No sense in contacting him about it.

Trip was the captain's drinking buddy. If anyone on board could get their hands on some booze, it would be him. She was entertaining the notion of comming Trip when her door chime sounded.

"Come in!" she called.

"Your day probably was just as bad as mine," said Jon as he stepped into her cabin.

"You make me look like a lush," Hoshi said, looking in disbelief at the rumpled sweat clothes Jon was wearing, the disheveled hair, and the bottle of whiskey he was holding. "I hope none of the crew saw me -- I mean you."

Jon looked down at the clothes. "I haven't had time to get my laundry taken care of," he said.

"Who cares? Bring that bottle over here and I'll find some glasses. Then we'll talk about what a bit of makeup can do."

"Actually," Jon said, ignoring her last comment, "I was hoping to trade. I'll give you the whole bottle for all your chocolate."

Hoshi looked at him askance. "My entire stash? I don't think so. I hope to be back in my body fairly soon, so I need to hang on to some of it. Besides," she said, pointing to the bottle, "that's not even full."

Jon set the bottle down on the desk. "Trip came by earlier and I offered him a drink. I wound up dumping mine down the drain. It doesn't taste the way it used to."

Scrounging up a glass, Hoshi unscrewed the cap on the bottle and poured herself a stiff shot. She slugged it back, the alcohol hitting her stomach with the force of a phase pistol set to kill.

Jon chuckled as she gasped and blinked several times.

"Wow!" she said as a warm glow replaced the initial shock in her stomach. "Now I know why you like this stuff."

With only a slight stagger she went to the dresser and pulled open the drawer. She grabbed several chocolate bars as well as a bag of individually foil-wrapped chocolate candies.

"Hey! You've already started on this," Jon said, fingering a rip in the bag as she handed it to him.

"Goes with the bottle that's not full." Hoshi smirked. "Seems like a fair trade to me."

"I better not find out you finished off that bottle all by yourself tonight and you're in no condition to work tomorrow. I could court-martial you."

"Weeeeellllll," Hoshi said, imitating him, "I better not find out you ate all of that chocolate tonight because you'll weigh as much as a small moon tomorrow. And you won't have to worry about a court-martial, because I'll kill you."

"You are not at all believable as me," Jon said, unimpressed.

"You know what would be funny?" she asked as she splashed more whiskey into her glass, amazed that she actually liked the taste of the foul stuff. She'd always suspected men's tastebuds weren't as discriminating as women's. "We could try to fool Trip and Malcolm. Tell them we've switched back, and see how long it takes for them to catch on."

Jon, unwrapping one of the candies and popping it in his mouth, took a moment to close his eyes and savor the taste before replying.

"Like they aren't confused enough already," he said. Then, before Hoshi's astounded stare, she watched as Jon's thoughts turned what should have been her face bright red. "Um, maybe we shouldn't. If Malcolm thinks I'm you..."

"...I'd kill him, too," Hoshi finished.

The door chime sounded before Jon could ask if she was joking.

Hoshi, still holding the glass with a bit of whiskey left in it, walked over and opened the door. Both Malcolm and Trip stood there.

"Come on in, guys," Hoshi said. "You can have your choice of a drink or chocolate. Then you can watch as I show the captain the fine art of making up a face."


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

Hoshi was in a quandary as she stepped out of her quarters the next morning. Should she head for sickbay and get something for her hangover-induced headache? Or, should she report to the bridge and pretend there wasn't an army of little men with sledgehammers pounding the inside of her skull?

The need to have a clear head to work on the inscriptions turned her steps toward sickbay. She'd get something from Phlox, check if there was any progress on finding out why she was in Jon's body and vice versa, and then go to the bridge.

If she hurried, she'd only be a few minutes late for her shift, and the captain couldn't blame her for getting something for the hangover. He could have at least warned her that, despite his size, he had no more tolerance for heavy drinking than a slug.

Blinking against the bright glare of the lights in sickbay as she entered, Hoshi looked around for Phlox.

"Doctor?" she called out, wincing at the excrutiating loudness of Jon's voice when she spoke.

"Yes?" Phlox answered as he came around the partition behind which he kept medical supplies. "Can I do something for you, Hoshi?"

"I have the most horrible headache."

Phlox clucked sympathetically and picked up a scanner, moving it around her head. "Hmmm. Been drinking, I hope?"

"Yes," she said with a puzzled frown.

"Good. Otherwise, I was concerned it might be a side-effect of the switch."

Phlox efficiently loaded a hypospray and applied it to her neck. As the injection began to take effect, Hoshi closed her eyes and felt some of the tight muscles in Jon's shoulders relax. "Thanks, Doctor. I'm feeling better already."

"A suggestion, if I may?"

Hoshi looked at him questioningly.

"Use alcohol in moderation," he said. "The captain has been in here more than once after a night of drinking with Commander Tucker."

"Now you tell me," she muttered. Changing the subject, she asked, "Have you figured out how the switch took place?"

"Not yet, but Sub-commander T'Pol and I are exploring various possibilities. I feel sure a return to the planet will prove most helpful."

Hoshi thanked the doctor again as she left sickbay, a spring in her step as she made her way to the bridge. Not only were the lingering effects of a night with the bottle dissipating but today they would go back to where this whole mess had started. She hoped they'd find some answers there. The only thing better she could wish for would be to find a Rosetta stone that held the key to the language.

Too bad she didn't have time to get something to eat. Now that the headache was almost gone, Jon's stomach was growling in a most unladylike fashion.

Jon was already on the bridge when she arrived. She saw a frown distort his borrowed features as he looked at the chronometer built into the command chair.

"Sorry, sir," she said as she hustled over to the communications console. "I stopped to check in with Doctor Phlox."

She saw her excuse hadn't fooled him. He'd been there last night, eating chocolate while she and Trip and Malcolm had killed off the bottle of whiskey. As she remembered the dent Jon had put in her chocolate reserves, she resolved to do everything she could to crack the alien language as quickly as possible, if only to keep him from blowing up her body like a blimp.

He'd taken her advice and put on the barest hint of mascara and blush this morning, she noticed approvingly. When she'd insisted last night on showing him how to apply make-up, he'd been equally insistent that they go in the bathroom, away from the amused gazes of Trip and Malcolm who were helping polish off the whiskey.

She had tucked a tube of lipstick and another of mascara in a pocket on her uniform this morning, just in case she had to drag him to the ready room and fix his face, but he'd done fine on his own.

Within minutes of her arrival on the bridge, the comm panel on the command chair beeped. Trip was reporting in to say that the Tellarite vessel had been fully repaired and all Enterprise personnel were back on board.

"Then let's get out of here," Jon said, giving Travis the order to head back to the planet.

They'd only been underway a short time when from the tactical station Malcolm said, "The Andorian ship is following us."

Hoshi, despite Jon's less-sensitive hearing, could hear his muttered expletives all the way over at her console. Last night, about halfway through the bottle, Malcolm had filled her in on what had happened with Jon and Shran. She didn't blame the captain one bit for swearing. Shran was lucky it hadn't actually been her alone with him in the captain's mess -- Jon and Malcolm had let him off a lot easier than she would have.

"Open a channel to Shran," Jon said when he ran out of names to call the Andorian commander.

Hoshi keyed the proper buttons and Shran's smug face appeared on the viewscreen.

"Captain Archer," he said with cloying sweetness. "We meet again."

"Knock it off, Shran," Jon replied. "Why are you following us?"

"The heading you're taking indicates you're on the way back to that planet. I'm very interested in seeing what you find out about your condition and whether it can be reversed."

Jon glared at him. "And I suppose if we do find out how to reverse it, you'll want us to let you know?"

"Think of the Andorians who are in the same fix. Surely you wouldn't keep such information from a close friend like me."

Jon sputtered at Shran's choice of words and looked away. Hoshi had to admit Shran had a point. If they could figure out how to reverse the procedure and gave that information to the Andorians, it would go a long way toward cementing ties between their two species.

"If there's anything I can do to help, please, let me know," Shran said.

Jon looked back at the screen, and Hoshi was struck by how her body looked under Jon's influence at that moment -- the stiff posture, the forward lean of the torso, the "don't mess with me" expression. Jon looked just like her mother when Hoshi or one of her siblings had stepped out of line big-time.

"Follow us if you want, Shran," Jon said slowly and clearly. "But stay out of our way."

He motioned for Hoshi to cut the connection but not before they all saw the satisfied smirk on Shran's face.

"Malcolm," Jon said, then paused. Hoshi bit her lip as she watched Jon try to manuever her shorter legs to swivel the chair. They weren't quite long enough to get leverage from the deck. She'd have to remember that if she ever was left in command of the bridge.

"Malcolm," Jon said again as he finally got turned the way he wanted. "If Shran's ship even looks like it's about to try something, shoot it."

"Sir?"

"You heard me," Jon said. "Shoot it. Hell, if you get bored, go ahead and take a potshot. I don't care." Getting up from his command chair, he very deliberately turned it back to face the viewscreen, his expression daring anyone to make a comment. "I'll be in my ready room."

There was absolute silence as Jon marched up onto the upper level and into his ready room.

A few moments later, a text message popped up on one of the screens on Hoshi's console: "PMS as an offensive weapon?"

There was only one person who would dare send her that message. Hoshi couldn't look at Malcolm for fear of bursting out laughing.

The rest of the morning passed quietly, although Hoshi could sense Malcolm's alertness. He wasn't about to let Shran try anything. She wondered if he was tempted to take a shot at Shran's vessel just for the heck of it, although she knew he was too much of a professional to actually do it.

Jon remained in the ready room, for which Hoshi was grateful. He certainly was in a snit. Not that he could do anything on the bridge right now anyway.

By the time they arrived at the planet, Shran's ship in close attendance, Hoshi was no nearer to cracking the language than she had been the night before. At a briefing with the senior officers to discuss their options now that they were once again at the planet, she reported that, despite the copious inscriptions she had recorded, she had reluctantly come to the conclusion that she didn't have enough to work with.

Jon ordered another party down to the surface. It would be comprised of the same group as before. Its members had been there before, but now their purpose was twofold: While Hoshi sought out more inscriptions, T'Pol and Trip could look for the mechanism that had initiated the transfer of brainwaves. Although there was no reason for Malcolm to come along again, Hoshi could tell Jon didn't have the heart to tell him to stay behind.

Jon also ordered Hoshi to send a strongly worded message to Shran, warning him not to attempt to follow them down to the planet. For once Shran didn't argue, but no doubt the Andorians would be following their movements as closely as possible with their scanners.

After some consideration, Jon allowed Trip to pilot the shuttlepod.

"I'm still not used to the shorter arms' length," Jon said, stretching an arm out and looking ruefully at the hand on the end of it.

"Hopefully it won't be for much longer," Hoshi told him.

The flight down was uneventful. They landed at the same place as before and quickly climbed out of the shuttlepod, Hoshi in particular eager to find new inscriptions that might unravel the mystery.

When Jon and Hoshi started off to look for more inscriptions, he called out to the others, "Whatever you do, don't stand under the archway."

A dry, dusty wind whipped through the air as Jon and Hoshi methodically went from building to building checking for inscriptions. In doing so, Hoshi did have one small epiphany.

"Look, sir," she said as she pointed to an engraved symbol next to a doorway. "Most of the outer doors have a marking of some sort on the upper right-hand side. It could be a numbering system, like street addresses on Earth."

Jon nodded. "Maybe studying them in the order they're posted as we go down this street will prove you right."

They spent close to two hours, Hoshi recording every inscription they could find, before they made their way back to the structure with the archway. Malcolm was standing outside, apparently having stepped out for a breath of fresh air.

"Anything?" Jon asked as they approached him.

"They're still taking scans," Malcolm said. "So far, they haven't found anything."

The trio went inside to find Trip and T'Pol hunched over their hand-held scanners.

"No indication of any power sources," T'Pol reported. "No indication of any devices that might channel power."

Trip nodded in confirmation of T'Pol's succinct report. "If there's somethin' here that caused what happened, I don't have a clue what it is."

"We could try excavation," T'Pol went on. "However, if there is mechanism within the walls or underground, we could inadvertently damage it."

"Perhaps whatever it is needs to be activated for you to get a scan," Hoshi said hopefully. "Maybe it's masked or doesn't give off a power signature unless it's working."

She waited as the captain pondered her remarks. By the set of what should have been her shoulders, she could tell he was thinking along the same lines as she was.

If whatever equipment caused their body switch needed to be in operation in order to detect it, the next logical step would be to try standing under the arch to activate it. Risky, maybe, but after two days in Jon's body, she was willing to try it. The ideal outcome, of course, would be that they were switched back. At worst, nothing would happen.

Hoshi was ready when the captain turned his gaze to her.

"Hoshi? Are you willing to try it?"

Her affirmative reply was almost drowned out by both Trip and Malcolm's protests.

"You can't do that, Cap'n!" Trip said. "Who knows what will happen?"

"It might even kill you to go through it again," Malcolm added.

Jon turned to face them, and if there was ever any doubt that it was truly the captain in her body, his manner and his decisiveness would have ended that speculation.

"We're not getting anywhere solving this problem," he said. "This is a chance I'm willing to take. Hoshi is, too, aren't you?"

"Yes, sir," she answered immediately.

"But what about Hoshi's attempts to learn this language?" Malcolm asked. "Shouldn't we wait until she can translate it?"

Hoshi was prepared for this argument and she spoke with conviction. "Even though I've made some progress today," she said, "there's still not enough variation in the symbols we're finding to provide a big enough base of information to unlock this language. I won't say I can't do it because I think I can, given enough time. But right now, I think it would take me a very long time."

"I've made my decision," Jon said firmly. "Make sure you've got the scanners recording all this when Hoshi and I step into the archway."


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

Now that the moment was here, Hoshi was overcome by a tremendous reluctance to move under the archway. Malcolm was right. They didn't understand this. Trying to get whatever had happened before to do it again might wind up killing her and Jon.

She looked back at Malcolm. Fear for her shone brightly in his eyes, halting her steps.

Then she looked down at Jon next to her. He stared unblinkingly back at her, fierce determination evidenced by the clenched jaw. If they were ever to be back where they belonged, this might be the only way. Her wavering resolution steadied by the sight of the proud way Jon held himself in her body, she approached the stone arch.

"We're in this together," Jon said softly.

She managed a small smile. That was one of the first things he'd said to her after the switch had occurred. And they had been in it together. Well, except for that time he had been alone with Shran. Her smile grew as she acknowledged to herself that, if this didn't work, she'd have to teach him about handling men when you were a woman.

"Come on," she said, grabbing his hand and pulling him under the archway with her. "What are we waiting for?"

They stood there for a few moments but nothing happened.

"T'Pol? Trip?" Jon asked. "Are you picking up anything?"

T'Pol, eyes locked on the scanner in her hand, shook her head, and Trip said, "Nothing."

Malcolm, standing off to one side, shifted uneasily on his feet.

"Maybe nothing's going to happen," Jon said.

Hoshi wasn't sure whether to be relieved or disappointed. "That would be a letdown," she said.

"Captain!" T'Pol called out. "Picking up something now!"

Jon looked inquiringly at his first officer. When the she volunteered no more information, he asked, "What is it?"

It was the last thing Hoshi heard.

* * *

She blinked rapidly, trying to see in the faint light. She'd been standing under the archway with Jon when T'Pol reported activity picked up by the scanner, but now she was somewhere else. 

As her eyes adjusted, she saw that she was in a small, bare room with stone walls similar to those of the archway. There weren't any windows but there was an open doorway. The floor she was lying on was dusty, as if no one had been there for a long time.

Glancing down at herself, she was disappointed to see she was still in possession of Jon's body.

Where was she? And where was the captain?

Getting to her feet, she staggered over to the opening, the stone cold under her hands when she touched the wall. Her legs felt leaden. How long had she been out?

She stepped out into a hallway. The corridor led off in both directions and she thought she could see intersecting corridors a little distance away. Other than the doorway she had just exited, however, there were no other openings for rooms that she could see.

"Captain?" she called out, hoping he might be somewhere near.

When there was no response, she called again, louder, but the result was the same. Her scalp prickled. Could Jon be hurt? Was that why he wasn't answering?

Much as she would have liked to stay where she was, the overriding need to find out if Jon was OK made her start moving down the corridor.

* * *

"What's wrong with them?" Malcolm asked anxiously as T'Pol scanned the bodies on the floor under the archway. 

Trip thrust out an arm to keep Malcolm from rushing toward their commanding officer and Hoshi after their sudden collapse.

T'Pol shook her head. "I don't know. It's too big a risk to move them or to allow anyone else under the archway. We don't know what effect that would have on a person who enters the archway, or on Captain Archer and Ensign Sato, for that matter."

"What should we do?" Trip asked, keeping a grip on Malcolm's arm. "We can't just leave 'em lying there like that."

T'Pol reached for her communicator and flipped it open. "T'Pol to Enterprise. We need Doctor Phlox down here. If he is willing, send him down via the transporter. Otherwise, send the other shuttlepod."

As T'Pol snapped the communicator shut, Malcolm asked, "What do we do in the meantime?"

"We wait, Lieutenant."

* * *

Hoshi wandered aimlessly for a time. Sometimes she would follow a bend in a corridor only to come to a dead end. Periodically she'd call Jon's name, hoping for a response, but so far there'd been none. 

Her confusion was mounting as she came to a doorway, the first she had seen in her meandering search. Peering in, she realized with dismay that it was the same room where she had woken up. The dust on the floor was disturbed. Somehow she must have gotten turned around and wound up where she had started.

On closer inspection, she noticed there was only one set of footprints in the dust on the floor and they led to the doorway. She deduced that she hadn't walked into the room or been carried there while unconscious, otherwise there would have been corresponding tracks. She must have been transported into the room somehow.

She needed to act in an organized way to search this place and find Jon. There was too great a chance of becoming totally lost. Not that she wasn't having a problem with that as it was, she admitted.

What if Jon wasn't here? No, that was too disquieting to think about. She'd just make sure she paid more attention from now on to where she was going and where she had been.

Stepping back out into the corridor, she patted the pockets of Jon's uniform she was wearing. Ah, there it was! One of the two makeup items she'd put in her pockets this morning was going to serve a purpose other than making Jon presentable. The lipstick, a mellow pink, would be perfect for marking her route as she went along.

She set off down the corridor again and when she reached the first intersecting hallway, she marked a small arrow on the wall at eye level to indicate the direction she was going.

* * *

Phlox bustled up to the officers gathered in front of the archway, none of his usual ebullient good will apparent when Trip stopped him from getting too close to the unconscious pair. He quickly opened a medical scanner and held it out before him. 

"How long have they been like this?" Phlox asked.

"Since just before I contacted Enterprise," T'Pol replied.

"What's wrong with them, Doc?" Trip asked worriedly.

Phlox shook his head. "I don't know, but there is increased brainwave activity for both of them. They may be unconscious but they are definitely experiencing something."

* * *

Now that she was keeping track of where she was going, Hoshi made better time. She steadily checked more and more blank corridors, none having doorways. Only once did she get turned around but, coming upon a lipstick arrow, she quickly got back to searching. 

She couldn't help but think she was in a maze, being tested in some manner. Maybe the captain wasn't in here with her. Maybe she had to find her way out on her own. That disquieting possibility spurred her to yell louder.

Her voice, projected farther than she'd ever been able to do in her own body, came echoing back to her. Mixed in with the distortion she thought she heard something else farther down the hallway.

Hurrying forward, she called again. "Captain?"

"Hoshi? Is that you?"

"Keep talking! I don't know where you are!" she called out, quickening her pace even more.

She turned a corner in the corridor and came upon a doorway in the wall a few meters ahead.

"Be careful!" she heard him yell in her voice. "I fell through a hole."

His voice was coming from inside the room and she cautiously entered. It was a good thing she'd been careful, for there was a square hole, a meter across, set back a short distance from the doorway.

"Are you down there, Captain?"

"Yes, and I can't get out."

Hoshi crept to the edge of the opening and knelt down. She could see what should have been her own face staring back up at her.

"How did you get down there?" she asked.

"When I came to, I was on my back. I rolled to one side and didn't know the hole was there. I fell in before I could stop myself."

"Are you hurt?" she asked.

"No, but there's no door down here, just a square room," he said. "The only way out that I can see is the way I came in, and I can't jump high enough to reach the edge. You're going to have to find something to lower down to me that I can either stand on or climb up."

Hoshi thought quickly. She hadn't seen anything but walls, floor and ceilings since they'd been brought to this place. She was willing to bet she could keep searching for a long time and still not find anything. Even if she did find something like a rope, there was nothing -- no doorknobs, no protruding ledges, no convenient pipes -- to tie a rope to.

She relayed this information to Jon.

"Well, then," he called up to her, "you're just going to have to get me out of here yourself."

"What? How can I do that?"

"You're in a bigger body now than you're used to, remember?" he said. "I bet you could lay on the floor up there and reach down far enough that I could jump up and grab your hand."

"And pull you up?" Hoshi said uncertainly. "I don't know if I--"

"Yes, you can," Jon asserted. "It might be difficult, but as long as you keep your grip on me, I'm sure we can do it."

Hoshi moved back from the opening slightly before prostrating herself on the floor.

"What if you pull me in?" she asked, peering down into the darkness below.

"Then I can stand on your shoulders and climb out."

"And I'll be stuck in the hole because there's no way you -- in my body -- can pull me in your body out of there."

"Well," Jon said, and she could her the amusement in his voice, "we'll just have to make sure this works the first time."

Hoshi braced herself as best she could and stuck her arm as far as possible down into the dark hole.


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12

"There's increasing activity in their brainwaves," Phlox said, alternating his attention between his med scanner and the motionless bodies of Hoshi and Jon a short distance away.

"Are they switchin' back to the right bodies?" Trip asked.

"No way to tell," the doctor said. "But I'm not reading any undue signs of stress in either of them."

Trip traded a glance with a worried Malcolm, then both turned their attention back to the tableau under the archway.

T'Pol, her attention on her scanner, said, "The power reading has dropped off and disappeared."

Phlox thought for a moment. "The captain's and the ensign's condition no doubt was caused by something to do with the energy reading. It's triggered something within them." He paused, studying his scanner, and shrugged. "The best I can tell, their subconsciousnesses are hallucinating."

* * *

Hoshi felt as if her arm was being yanked out of its socket. She might be in Jon's bigger body, but trying to haul a dead weight straight up wasn't easy. 

She'd wedged the toe of one boot in a crack between two of the paving stones that made up the floor. It was the only thing that kept her from sliding over the lip of the hole when Jon had jumped and grabbed her hand.

Pushing back against the stone floor with her free hand as Jon clung to her other with both of his, she was able to slowly inch her way backward.

"Quit wiggling around!" she yelled at him.

"I'm slipping!" he called back.

She grunted with strain as he moved one of his hands up farther, latching onto her wrist with a vise-like grip and pulling her again toward the hole's opening in the process. The knee of her uniform ripped open as she was dragged forward and her skin scraped on the rough stone.

"Argh!" she yelled, straining backward.

She felt his other hand loosen its hold on her hand, only to see it appear at the edge of the hole, scrabbling for purchase. She didn't dare try to reach for it for fear she'd be drawn over the edge.

"A little more!" he said. "If I can get my elbow up there--"

With one last Herculean effort, she tugged backward, and a slender arm appeared, the elbow angled to catch on the edge. She felt a slight lessening of pressure and grabbed the protruding arm with her free hand and yanked.

A dark-haired head appeared and she yanked again, pulling Jon up far enough that his upper body was leaning onto the stone floor. She hastily shifted one of her hands to grab the back of his uniform and pulled him the rest of the way out of the hole.

"Thanks," Jon gasped out, breathing heavily. "I knew you could do it."

Hoshi smiled faintly, too winded to speak.

They lay sprawled on the floor for a few moments, gasping from their exertions, before Jon got to his feet, carefully moving away from the hole.

"Where are we?" he asked as he moved toward the door.

"I don't know," she said, getting to her feet. "Some big building. It's like a maze."

He listened attentively as she gave a summary of her activities before finding him.

"It might be a test of some sort," Jon said when she finished.

"Isn't being in the wrong bodies enough of a test?"

Jon shook his head. "Let's just try to find a way out of here."

Hoshi followed him out into the corridor, the lipstick tube again in her hand.

"Since you've already started exploring the maze, why don't you lead?" he suggested. "Surely there can't be too much more to it."

Walking down the corridor, Hoshi couldn't help but feel better, despite the aching muscles she'd earned pulling Jon out of the hole. At least she'd found him and she wasn't alone any more.

After pulling Jon in her body out of the hole, she had a new respect for Jon's physical strength. But she still wanted back in her own body.

They walked on, Hoshi methodically marking their way at each intersection.

"Where is the light coming from?" Jon mused out loud as she carefully drew an arrow with the lipstick.

Hoshi shrugged. She'd wondered that, too. There were no windows and no obvious sources of artificial lighting, yet there was a diffuse illumination that was enough to see by. She hadn't dwelled on it, other than to be grateful for it, while she'd been looking for Jon.

She shivered to think what it would have been like stumbling around these cold, blank corridors without any light at all.

They turned yet another corner to find a corridor like so many before, but with one difference. There was an obvious door at the opposite end. It was an archway similar in design to the one they'd stood under on the planet. Unfortunately, the opening was walled up with stones just as precisely as the corridor walls.

"Maybe this is the way out," Jon said, hurrying toward the door.

"There's no handle," Hoshi said.

They examined the door, if that's what it really was. It was made of the same stone as the walls, floor and ceiling. A thin line denoting where the door was fitted in place could be seen, but there were no hinges and no indication of how it could be opened.

"Sir!" Hoshi said as she looked off to one side.

Jon moved over to join her in studying a slim crack in the wall.

"This looks like it can be removed," he said, running his hands over the stone next to the crack and sliding his hand into the opening. "There's a catch or something in here."

He moved his fingers around trying to pull at the lever. They both heard a scratching sound as something gave and one of the stone blocks next to the lever moved outward.

They traded hopeful smiles and then Hoshi grasped the stone as best she could, pulling on it until it tumbled out of place to land at their feet.

They pulled out more stones, and soon they had an opening large enough for a child or a small person to crawl through. The opening was about a meter deep and through it in the dim light they could see another corridor stretching off in the distance.

"None of the other stones are coming loose," Jon said, huffing from the effort of moving stones out of the way. "I think I can fit through this."

"But I can't," Hoshi said glumly, for once at a disadvantage having Jon's broader shoulders.

"Maybe there's something on the other side that will let me open the door."

She watched anxiously as he squeezed into the opening barely big enough for Jon's shoulders -- _my shoulders_, she told herself absently -- to go through. Halfway through, he began to struggle.

"I think I'm hung up on something," his muffled voice came to her.

"I told you not to eat so much chocolate," she replied as she put a hand on his rump and pushed.

"Hey!" he squealed. "That's really my hand you have your--"

The added pressure was enough to push Jon through and he tumbled to the floor on the opposite side.

"Well?" Hoshi called through the opening.

"Give me a second," he said.

She heard him stand and move toward the door. Her hopes fell at his next words.

"There's no handle on this side either," he called to her.

Then she heard him smack his hand in frustration against the stone, and the slightest of movements caught her eye. On her side, the stone door had moved the barest fraction of a centimeter.

"Something happened!" she yelled excitedly. "Hit it again!"

Again he hit the door, and again it moved almost imperceptibly.

"I think it's moving," he said. "I'm going to push on it."

Hoshi was glad she'd been standing to the side because, without warning, the massive stone door shot out of place, revealing an opening to the other side.

"Wow!" she said softly. "I must be stronger than I thought if you could move that."

Jon's delight animated his face as he peered out at her. "Hate to disillusion you, but I barely pushed at all. The door must be carefully balanced to move so easily."

"But only from that side," she pointed out.

He shrugged and motioned for her to come through. Then they set off down the corridor before them, Hoshi clasping the lipstick tube firmly in her hand.

Several twists and turns brought them to a door similar to the one they'd just passed through. There was one major difference, however. There were two large panels with engraved inscriptions, one on either side of the stone door.

"Figures," Hoshi said. "I haven't been able to translate the language yet."

"Do you think it's instructions how to open the door?" Jon asked, studying the panel on the left.

"I don't know what else they could be for. Access panels of some kind, maybe."

"You may be right," Jon said with excitement.

"Why do you say that?"

"Look at the individual engravings on the panels. They're made so that they're set into the bigger panels. I'm willing to bet they can be depressed like buttons on our access panels onboard Enterprise."

Sure enough, on close inspection, Hoshi could see how the individual engraved blocks fit into the panels. Tentatively, she gently pushed on one of the four engravings on the panel to the right of the door and felt it give.

Withdrawing her hand, she said, "Careful, sir. We may only get one try at this, and if we push the wrong engraving, it might not work."

Hoshi stared at the symbols before her. She'd seen these symbols before, of course. She'd been studying the language for more than two days now. But there was something about these particular symbols that nagged at her. "I wish I had my scanner with me. I might be able to..."

"What is it?" Jon asked as her voice trailed off.

"These symbols... They're the same ones we saw on the outside of the buildings today. It's part of the numerical system," she said.

"That's great!" Jon said happily, but then his lips fell into a frown. "We don't know the code, so even if we did know the language and numbers, it wouldn't help."

Hoshi wasn't paying attention to him. She was too intent on studying the engravings. "That's odd."

"What?"

"I think I can put the symbols in numerical sequence, but they jump back and forth from one panel to the other...all the odd numbers on one and all the even numbers on the other is the easiest way to describe it."

"Do you think they are supposed to be pushed in numerical order?" he asked.

"We can try," she said. "What have we got to lose?"

Jon nodded. "OK. Go for it. I'm getting tired of being in your body."

Hoshi began pushing the engravings, one on the right one panel, then walked over to push one on the left, and back to push another on the right and so on until she finished the sequence.

Nothing happened.

"Hmmm. That obviously wasn't it," she said.

"You're sure you got the numbers in the right order?" Jon asked, only to hold up a hand placatingly when she glared down at him. "Of course you got them right. ... What about reverse order?"

So Hoshi tried the sequence in reverse. It still didn't work.

"You know, it feels like there's a catch or a latching mechanism that's not engaging when I push them," she said as she stared at one of the panels. "There are a few keys on my communications panel that have to be held down while other buttons are pushed. Maybe that's the case here."

She gazed at the other panel. "You're going to have to help me, though. I can't reach that far and still hold down the ones over here."

They tried it again, Hoshi telling Jon which engravings to push. She had no trouble holding down two engravings with one hand, but she could see Jon struggling to use her smaller hands to do the same job.

"If you have to, use your arm to hold down two engravings at once," Hoshi suggested.

They were now holding down seven of the eight engravings with one more to be pushed on Jon's panel. "Here goes nothing," Jon said and stretched his fingers to reach the last engraving.

* * *

"I'm getting a power reading," T'Pol said. 

Malcolm turned from watching the pair under the archway to look at her, only to switch his gaze to the doctor, who was studying the med scanner.

"They're showing increased brainwave activity," Phlox reported.

"What's goin' on?" Trip asked worriedly. "Are they OK?"

Phlox shook his head. "I don't know."


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: Here it is -- the last chapter. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope even more you leave a comment if you did! Thanks!

CHAPTER 13

The door in front of Hoshi and Jon began moving. Unlike the last door, which had opened toward them, this one moved away, retreating into the archway.

Its progress was agonizingly slow.

"Don't let go yet!" Hoshi said, maintaining pressure on the engravings she had pushed down. "It might move back into place."

Jon didn't say anything. He kept pressing on his set of engraved blocks. He watched anxiously as the slab moved inward. When it finally ground to a halt, he looked to Hoshi for permission to let up.

She cautiously removed her hands at her panel, and he did the same at his. The door stayed where it was.

"It didn't open all the way," Hoshi said in disappointment. "It's still blocking the way out."

They walked over to the recessed opening. Jon studied the stone door and put his hands against it and pushed. Hoshi joined him, putting both her hands against the door and pushing as well.

"I can feel it moving but it's not balanced like the last one," Jon said.

Knowing she was the stronger of the two, being in his body, Hoshi pushed harder, straining every muscle. The door moved a bit more. Hoshi turned around, putting her back against the door and pushing as hard as she could. Next to her, Jon did the same.

The increased pressure against the door succeeded in moving it farther until at last it popped out the other side, letting in a gust of fresh air.

With a smile of triumph, Hoshi looked at Jon. Together they stepped through the opening.

And the surroundings shifted.

* * *

She wasn't standing. She was lying on the floor. She turned her head to the side and found green eyes staring back at her. 

With a start she realized she was looking at Jon -- really looking at him. It was Jon in his body looking back at her, a silly grin on his face.

She sat up, her head spinning, and held her hands in front of her face. They were her hands. The nails were a little chipped, she noticed, arching an eyebrow as she realized she'd forgotten to tell Jon to take care of them.

But that thought was gone in a flash as she started to laugh. She was back where she belonged! That's all that mattered.

Strong hands grabbed her and pulled her into a hug.

"Hoshi?" she heard Malcolm's breathless voice in her ear. "Are you OK?"

"Yes," she said, then impishly added, "How do you know you're not hugging the captain?"

She felt him freeze for a moment, then he hugged her harder. "Because if you were the captain, you would have decked me."

Malcolm helped her to her feet. Next to her, Trip was helping the captain up.

"We're back in our own bodies," Jon said. "But don't you two think you ought to get out from under the arch, just in case?"

"Damn! Didn't think of that, Cap'n," Trip said as he hurriedly helped Jon away from the arch. "I was just so happy that you two came around. Ya had us kind of worried there for a while."

Malcolm assisted Hoshi in moving a safe distance from the archway, and Phlox began running the med scanner over Hoshi and Jon. T'Pol, too, was busy, taking readings on a fast-fading power surge.

"You appear to have been switched back," the doctor said. "How do you feel?"

"Better now that I'm back in my own body," Jon said.

"But a little tired and sore," Hoshi said. "I can't believe we moved that last stone door by ourselves."

"What are you talkin' about, Hoshi?" Trip asked, his brows drawn together. "You didn't go anywhere. We watched you the whole time."

"We were in some sort of stone maze," Jon told Trip.

Phlox made his characteristic "hmm" and said, "You may have thought you were somewhere else, but you were lying here the entire time after you collapsed. At least, your bodies were."

Jon frowned. "You mean that whole test was a figment of our imaginations?"

Phlox shrugged. "To you it was real, even though you weren't physically somewhere else. And you think it was a test?"

"It sure felt like it," Hoshi said, rubbing her elbow where Jon had scraped it as she pulled him out of the pit. She remembered he'd hooked an elbow over the lip of the hole to help pull himself up. But there was no tear in the uniform and although she felt the familiar burning sensation of a scrape, there was no outward indication that her elbow had been injured.

She darted a glance at the knees of Jon's uniform. There was no rip in the fabric where it had torn during her desperate attempt to get Jon out of the hole.

"If we didn't really do anything, why do I ache?" she asked.

"We still don't fully understand the brain," Phlox answered. "Whatever happened, it was very real to you. You believed it to have occurred. I expect it's a residual effect and will go away soon."

"You said it was a test?" T'Pol asked.

"I don't know what else it could be," Jon said. "First Hoshi had to pull me out of a hole, then I had to squeeze through this little opening--"

He broke off at T'Pol and Phlox's puzzled looks. "We weren't switched back yet," he explained with a laugh. "Come on," he said. "Let's get out of here."

* * *

The first thing Hoshi wanted when they returned to Enterprise was a long, hot shower. Jon was of the same mind, and he gave her permission to get cleaned up before the entire landing party reconvened in his ready room. 

Malcolm walked with her to her cabin, taking her hand as soon as they rounded a bend in the corridor and left the others behind.

She sighed and squeezed his hand. "I've missed this," she said.

"I know."

She smacked at him playfully as he grinned and easily dodged the light blow.

She let him key in her access code at her door. She wasn't surprised when he followed her into the cabin.

"Much as I'd like to do something else right now," she said, pausing to give him a heated look, "we've only got enough time for me to get cleaned up and get to the meeting."

"I know."

"Is that all you can say? 'I know?'"

"At least now that I'm certain about things, yes, I believe 'I know' is the only thing I can say right now."

Hoshi considered him. "You know, after we get done with this meeting..." She let her words trail off, giving him a sultry look.

"I know," he said for a third time, giving her a decidedly heated look of his own.

She laughed and headed for the bathroom and a shower. The best part was putting on a fresh uniform, knowing that Jon hadn't been wearing it.

Malcolm was waiting for her when she was finished showering, and escorted her to the captain's ready room.

"Do you think we'll ever know what happened?" Malcolm asked her as they boarded the turbolift for the bridge.

"I don't know," she said, then caught his smirk. She rolled her eyes. "If I ever crack that language, we might. But for all I know, the words above the archway say, 'This way to exit.'"

They were laughing as the turbolift door opened. Stepping out, they made their way to the ready room, but not before Travis caught Hoshi's eye and gave her a thumbs-up and a big smile. To Hoshi, it seemed like everyone was smiling today. It was good to be back where she belonged -- in more ways than one.

She stopped to check over the shoulder of the crewman on duty at the communications console.

"Did that program I left running finish?" she asked him.

"About an hour ago," he said, handing her a padd. "I downloaded it for you."

She took the padd and caught up with Malcolm who was waiting outside the ready room door. At his inquiring glance she said, "I tried another decryption program on the language before we left to go down to the planet. Should be interesting to see what it came up with, if anything."

Trip and T'Pol along with Doctor Phlox were already in the ready room. Jon was seated at his desk.

"First thing I want to do," Jon said, "is leave some kind of warning for others who might visit here. Then we need to contact Shran, who I'm sure is chomping at the bit to know what happened."

Jon and T'Pol began outlining specifics for placing a warning buoy or some kind of marker at the archway. By the time Trip got involved in the discussion and was recommending various solutions, Hoshi's curiosity got the better of her. She quietly turned on the padd and began looking at the results.

"Or we could just blast the place to smithereens," Trip was saying with a crooked grin at Malcolm. "That way, nobody else would have to--"

"I don't believe it!"

Hoshi's outburst brought the discussion to an abrupt halt as the others looked at her.

"Hoshi?" Jon asked curiously.

"I'm sorry, sir. It's just that, after all we went through..." She continued scrolling down the padd, punching in a few commands, and swearing under her breath in several languages.

"Hoshi?" Jon asked again, demanding attention. "Have you figured it out?"

"Yes, sir. You're not going to believe this," she said, looking up at him and still experiencing the immense relief that she had felt when they'd first been switched back into their proper bodies and realized it was his eyes staring back at her.

"Go on."

"It wasn't a test. It was a learning experience and a lesson in ethics all at the same time!"

T'Pol gazed at her with interest. "Elaborate, please."

"The species that lived here had the ability to switch their consciousnesses with each other," Hoshi explained, looking back down at the data on the padd. "They did it as a matter of course. But once in another's body, they were expected to learn its limitations as well as its strengths. The maze we went through wasn't a test; it was a way to learn about those bodies."

"I suppose it would give the participants a greater appreciation of each other's abilities," Phlox said.

"Yes," Hoshi said. "That's it exactly."

"Talk about walkin' a mile in somebody else's shoes!" Trip put in.

"And the final portions of the maze were to show how people have to work together," Hoshi said, looking at Jon. "Neither one of us could have gotten out of there alone, but working together we were able to do it."

"So we weren't in any danger?" Jon asked.

"Apparently the only danger would have been if your physiology was significantly different from the creators of the apparatus that engendered the switch," Phlox said. "Even then, I think they would have built in safeguards to keep that from happening. They seem to be a considerate group if they were willing to switch bodies to learn about each other."

Both Jon and Hoshi stared at the doctor.

"That's a matter of opinion," Jon said. "I, for one, would have liked to have known in advance what was going to happen."

Phlox shrugged, his customary smile in place.

The meeting began to break up, but Hoshi remained behind, waving Malcolm to go on with the others.

"Yes, Hoshi?" Jon asked as the others filed out.

"I was wondering, sir, what you're going to tell Shran."

Jon smiled. "Much as I would like to let him figure it out on his own, that wouldn't be right, would it? As soon as I'm back on the bridge, you can put a call through to him for me."

"We could always tell him the people who have been switched just have to be back under the arch. We don't have to tell him about the rest, do we?" she asked, a new light shining in her eyes. "We could let him figure out the rest on his own. Maybe even tell him he has to switch with someone before it will switch everyone else back. It might teach him something about respect."

"This idea wouldn't have something to do with Shran's behavior toward me...ah, you...both of us?"

"Maybe, sir." She turned to leave but paused at the door. "But it would serve him right, don't you think?"

Jon laughed long and hard. When he finally pulled himself together, he said, "Maybe I should just let him talk to you."

"You never did figure out how to channel PMS to your advantage, did you?" she said. "Oh, that reminds me. About all that chocolate you ate..."

---the end---


End file.
